Celebrating Fourth Wing...a Dragon Rider class for 5e and heartbreaking fantasy gaming

As I mentioned when I reviewed the novel Fourth Wing a couple of days ago, I wanted to also share a fairly simple Dragon Rider class.  This should be suitable, for the most part, for 5e games and is designed to work with the classes of the ever-developing fantasy heartbreaker I'm trying to follow through on.  While the dragon rider trope has varying characteristics depending on the universe you're drawing from, this one is very much based on the warriors of Navarre...

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The Dragon Rider

Image from Pixabay

Hit Die: d10

Proficiencies

Armor: Light armor, all shields
Weapons: All simple and martial weapons

Saving Throws: Dexterity, Constitution
Skills: Athletics, Perception

To represent your experience up until Level 1, choose one additional Skill and one Talent (a competency not directly represented on the Skill list) proficiency.

Equipment

Begin with a set of campaign-appropriate equipment (per DM).  You do not necessarily begin with a dragon mount, although this class assumes you have gained the abilities that accompany having one.

You Can Ride Dragons!

At 1st level, you gain proficiency on all checks that involve dragon riding.

Channeling the Dragon’s Power

Beginning at 1st level, you are able to achieve some feats of magic with the help of your dragon.  Your beginning Dragon Rider knows the cantrip Mage Hand and the following new cantrips:

Trustworthy Pen – A quill or pen that you control writes with a consistent and smooth line and does not run out of ink.

Sphere of Privacy – You may establish a sphere of up to 20 feet in diameter, centered on you.  Sound cannot pass into or out of this sphere.  (However, creatures can move through this barrier as normal.)  The sphere lasts for 10 minutes or until dispelled or eliminated by another creature’s magic.

Signature Power

At 2nd level, you gain the ability to cast a Level 1 spell from any spell list that can be accessed by a Mage in your world.  Per the DM, this spell may be chosen or determined randomly.  It is okay to rename and tweak the flavor of a spell in order to fit a slightly different theme; e.g. Witch Bolt may simply become Bolt for a character who is able to cast lightning.

You may cast your Signature Power a number of times per day equal to your Dragon Rider level; this is replenished after a long rest.  It is always cast as a Level 1 spell (unless its enhanced version is selected at 5th level as your Ultimate Power).  Wisdom is the ability you use for all spellcasting checks.

More Spells

Starting at 3rd level, you gain the ability to also cast the following spells:  Knock, Arcane Lock, and Haste (Self) (which functions like a Haste spell that can only be targeted at yourself).  Whenever you cast one of these spells, it uses up one of your Signature Power slots for the day.

Ability Score Increase

When you reach 4th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1.

Extra Mounted Attack

Beginning at 5th level, you can attack twice, instead of once, whenever you take the Attack action on your turn while you are riding a dragon.

Ultimate Power

At 5th level, select a Level 3 spell from any of the Mage spell lists.  This should be related to the spell that defines your Signature Power (at the DM’s discretion).  If your Signature Power spell has an enhanced version for casting at Level 3, you may use this instead of choosing a new spell.  In addition to the spells you can already cast a number of times per day equal to your Dragon Rider level, you may cast this Ultimate Power spell once per day (it is also replenished after a long rest).

Monstrous Mini-Review: Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

Laura has been on reading spree lately like none I have ever observed before (and certainly unlike any I've ever undertaken myself).  And with the influence of some friends and/or BookTok, one of the main directions her reading interests have drifted is toward romantic fantasy.  Or...as it seems to be popularly portmaneau'ed these days (yeah, I don't think that's actually a verb either)...romantasy.  OR...as Laura has told me it can be considered a subgenre of...when in understanding company (and based upon the understood target audience of such books)...cliterature (be careful with that one).

The genre has apparently boomed over the past few years along with the popularity of the two biggest names in the business right now, Sarah J. Maas and Rebecca Yarros.  Among other works, Maas writes the series stemming from the book A Court of Thorns and Roses (conveniently called ACOTAR by fans); Yarros, meanwhile, is known for her Empyrean series, a romance/military/fantasy mashup that started with the novel Fourth Wing.

This probably isn't a direction I would have taken my reading otherwise, but with my wife now excitedly starting conversations with me about stuff like bonding with dragons and magic use (in a world where no one has heard the word "Muggle"), I had to get in on it.  So, I started with Fourth Wing, recently finished it, and figured I'd share my thoughts here in a review...or, at least, some mini-thoughts in a mini-review.

Image from Goodreads

Fourth Wing is the story of the young woman Violet Sorrengail's first year at Basgiath War College, where she is learning to go into battle on the back of a dragon as part of the Riders Quadrant.  Most of the story is told in the first person, from Violet's perspective.  We follow her trials and successes as she navigates through a world of danger she never planned to be a part of.

You see...Basgiath is a freaking brutal place.  Students in the Riders Quadrant die all the time.  The tests are dangerous, the dragons are dangerous, and -- if all of that isn't enough -- cadets regularly kill each other in the normal course of training.  This may further their own success, but more importantly, it eliminates weak links before they jeopardize the whole army in battle.

Violet, meanwhile, has spent her entire life dreaming of joining the Scribe Quadrant (pretty much what it sounds like, although there's an acknowledgement of the power held by those who control information).  She also has what seems to be a congenital disorder giving her bones and joints below-average sturdiness (apparently based on Yarros's own experience with such a challenge).  Oh!  And her mom just happens to be the the commander of the war college...and there was no way General Sorrengail was going to have her third child skip out on following in the footsteps of the two siblings who achieved renown as riders before Violet even became a student there.

If I had to give Fourth Wing a pithy little "____ meets ____" description, I'd say it's like Harry Potter meets Full Metal Jacket.  But there's another part of it, too, and how one reacts to that other part may be what will have the greatest bearing on whether or not a reader likes the series.  It's the part where every other page or so (an exaggeration, I'm sure...), we're reminded that Violet is a horny 20-year-old who can't help but notice how good some of the manly men around her look, and smell, and make her feel.  I guess you could add Twilight into the mix I'm trying to describe, but Fourth Wing takes the descriptions of intimacy up to another level.

Now, I am honestly not all that well-read when it comes to the breadth of fantasy literature.  For romantic fantasy, I think of books that were explicit influences on the Blue Rose RPG, as discussions of that game are the main places I've ever seen the term used.  Having never read the works of Mercedes Lackey or Diane Duane, I can't say how closely Fourth Wing follows that model.  In some of the broad strokes, I think it's probably quite comparable.  The world of Fourth Wing (centered on a kingdom known as Navarre) is home to a society that is quite egalitarian when it comes to gender roles.  There's unequivocal LGBTQ representation.  And there isn't a focus on the interactions of all the high fantasy species we're used to...elves and dwarves and orcs and all that.  It's just humans and their dragons (or, for the opposing kingdom, their gryphons).

However, I've never imagined that the smoochy, sweaty aspect of the romantic designation would be this prominent in those earlier well-known works of romantic fantasy, although I could be way off.  I also don't think I've ever read a real romance novel in my life, so maybe I'm just surprised by any story that gives that much attention to the steamy sessions played out by the heroine and her love interest.  A couple of times, Fourth Wing reminded me of passages from trashy paperbacks that a friend would entertain us with through interpretive readings in high school.

And so, this is the biggest qualifier I would have to throw out there in recommending Fourth Wing to anyone (even though I enjoyed the book quite a bit), and why I wouldn't give it as a blanket recommendation for anyone who likes fantasy.  I imagine the conversations I'd later have with friends to go something like this:

"How'd you like Fourth Wing?"

"It was tedious and unnecessarily detailed."

"Unnecessarily detailed?  But you love Tolkien...!"

"Well, Tolkien never wrote the line, 'It might damn us both, but I can't wait to feel you come around my cock.'"

"Fair point."

To completely belabor the issue...in case it means anything to you, Fourth Wing earned 4 out of 5 flames for spiciness from romance.io, falling into the category of Explicit Open Door and fulfulling the criteria of "At least two intimate scenes, explicit language with a variety of sexual acts."

But...now that that's out of the way, let me say again that I really did enjoy the story!  There's nothing incredibly innovative about the worldbuilding, but it's a good universe, and one that I've spent plenty of time thinking about gaming in.  The students in the Riders Quadrant have a fighter-pilot-esque cockiness about them, and the core concept -- of bonding to dragons so that together you become the pinnacle of combat ferocity -- is just cool.  

The greater intrigue to be found within the realm of Navarre is set on a slow burn throughout the story, and (hopefully without giving anything away) I can say that the book ends in a way that ratchets up that aspect of the plot enough that I was happy to jump immediately into the series' second entry, Iron Flame.

Image also from Goodreads

It should also be noted: You could remove the romance from the story and it would still work pretty well, especially to someone like me who thinks about the whole thing in terms of how it would play out as a D&D campaign.  I guess it wouldn't be as popular, but it would definitely still be a cool story.  At this point, I'm kind of afraid that I've talked about it enough that my dismissals may sound like I'm "protesting too much" and trying to hide my interest by making sure you all know that there was no way I was into all of that girly stuff.  But truly...I accepted the romance portion of the book for what it was, and I embraced the fact that the interpersonal conflicts tied up in it do impact the novel's fantasy framework as a whole, and for the better.  (And really...to compare it to works of literature especially germane to the typical topics of this blog: Am I really going to act like the romantic interactions between Sword & Planet princesses and the heroes of Edgar Rice Burroughs's stories are particularly well-written?  Nah...)

Even aside from the romance, though, Fourth Wing isn't going to be for everyone.  It seems to be a fairly divisive title among fantasy aficionados, with many readers simply disliking Yarros's style of prose.  As a first-person narrative from the perspective of a 20-year-old, it is quite informal, and perhaps even more grating for some, it feels quite modern.  I actually think this works well in making the characters seem real and relatable, especially for readers who may not be used to the tropes of ostensibly medieval fantasy.  But I've seen enough anger about Poe Dameron making a "your mother" joke that I recognize that the shattering of verisimilitude takes different forms for different people.  So...be warned, I suppose.

I've also seen criticism of of Yarros's writing centered on its repetitive nature.  And indeed...there's some stuff that seems to come up a lot.  Ironically, one example is that "fair point" line I spoke above in my own hypothetical conversation...it's used multiple times and has the sort of modern feel that will make it especially noticeable to some.  There are a lot of jaws ticking and lips curving into smiles.  And the gazes...gods, everyone has a gaze.

Overall, though, the prose does what it needs to.  It drew me into the world of Basgiath War College as it has many, many others before me.  The characters are solid and generally likable or unlikable as the story dictates, and there's enough of a connection forged that at least one genuinely emotional moment pops up.  As someone approaching the book wanting a good story, I got what I bargained for, and as someone approaching it as a fantasy RPGer looking for inspiration, I got even more than that.  If I'm giving it a simple thumbs up or down, it's definitely pointed up, just keep those caveats above in mind if you decide to give it a shot as well.

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Thanks for reading, all!  I was going to tie this into my usual Monstrous Matters fare by also sharing a simple Dragon Rider class here...but I didn't expect to write so much about the book itself.  That'll be coming soon though...!

Meta Monday: Nintendo Power magazine's 1989 Zelda fanfiction

When I started thinking about putting together these Meta Monday posts, one of the first items I had in mind was today's topic.  I think this is probably a pretty obscure little piece of Legend of Zelda lore, but for some reason, it became planted firmly enough in my 11-year-old brain to get me to seek it out decades later...

In the very early days of Nintendo Power magazine, the publishers held a fiction contest.  I don't remember if I even saw the original announcement (I became a loyal reader but wasn't there from the very beginning), but the winners were announced in the magazine's sixth volume, May/June 1989.  The top entry was printed in that issue...the short story "Friends," by Robbie H. Lawton.

Image from Nintendo Power, and taken from this Tumblr post

For whatever reason, this story was really memorable to me.  Maybe it was the fact that, at the time, I was in the process working myself into an obsessive frenzy over the NES, and The Legend of Zelda was a magical and mysterious entity I had yet to explore.  Maybe it was because it seemed to be written by a kid like me, and I had an idea that I could contribute to the world of Nintendo with a creation like this.  And maybe it was just because it's a delightful little story.

In the tale, we meet young gamer Jason, who is working his way through the The Legend of Zelda like countless other youngsters at the time.  Instead of tapping away on a control pad, however, Jason climbs into his television and adventures around Hyrule as Link's partner.  The story is about searching for the seventh dungeon, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and...given away by the title...friendship.

Another image from the story, also snagged from that Tumblr post

I went to the right place when I decided to try searching up the old story, as a post on Reddit quickly led some kind and helpful Zelda fans to point me toward a thread started by a child of the Jason of the story (who goes by PunishedYoshi on Reddit).  It seems their grandmother actually penned the tale and submitted it to Nintendo Power, and after a long search, they finally located it in a Tumblr post by nteamhero.  If you'd like to read the story in full, just click that Tumblr link...it's a quick read and truly is...well, delightful!  (That's through my thick nostalgia glasses, of course...)  And according to PunishedYoshi, their grandmother also drew at least some of the accompanying pictures, in which case...awesome!

(And for whatever it's worth, it also seems that r/zelda has some genuinely nice folks among its posters...)

Anyway...I really love these little stories of things that happened on the periphery of gaming and pop culture history.  (And, the older I get, the more I think I just like remembering being young...)

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Since I jotted down some details on Toads for 5e and my fantasy heartbreaker the last time I talked NES on here, this seems like a good time to take a look at Link and Zelda's species...!

Hylians

Image from the Zelda Wiki

Hylians are very similar to humans and may indeed be simply a subgroup of humans.  They're pretty diverse themselves, though, as there seem to be various races and ethnicities within Hylians as a group.  It should be noted, however, that they have pointed ears and often a degree of innate magical ability.  So, maybe they're more like elves.  Largely town elves, I guess.  You can find out more about them at the Zelda Wiki's Hylian page.

Ability Score Increase:  Your Wisdom score increases by 2. Choose one additional ability score to increase by 1.

Age/Size:  Hylians seem to age at about the same rate and are around the same size as humans.  They are medium creatures.

Name:  Whatever you like!  Known Hylian names include Akrah, Benny, Garini, Irene, Link, Sonia, and Zelda.

Speed:  Your base walking speed is 30 feet.

Preternatural Hearing:  Hylians have excellent hearing and get advantage on all Perception checks involving listening.  In an ability that is also likely related to their pointed ears, Hylians are able to send and receive messages to and from other Hylians over great distances...and even when in different dimensions of existence.  To telepathically communicate in such a way, both Hylians must succeed on a Wisdom check.  Its base difficulty is 10, with 1 point added for each hundred miles of distance between the two Hylians.  If they are on different planes, the difficulty is simply 10, but both rolls are made with disadvantage.

Magical Nature:  Hylians know one cantrip that can be learned by any type of Mage in your campaign.  Per DM, this can be chosen or determined randomly from the spell list(s).  Hylians use Wisdom as their ability for any spellcasting checks.

Languages:  Hylians can read and speak Hylian and Common.  Other languages may be known according to the guidelines of your campaign.

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Happy Friday the 13th! Here's a minimalist, untested, overpowered 5e Slasher class...!

Hey, it's Friday the 13th!  I don't know that I've ever posted anything on here related to that most ominous of preludes to the weekend (other than pointing out a product or two that became available on the special day), so I figured I'd correct that now.

And with my mind on constructing a fantasy heartbreaker, it seemed like it'd be fun to see if I could put together a really simple Slasher class that fits the "trimmed-down 5e" vibe I'm working with.  So...here we go...!  I'm sure this has been done plenty of times over...and probably even somewhere that has been linked from this very blog, especially when you consider friend-of-MM and prolific game content creator Pun Isaac's penchant for slasher flicks, as well as the excellent horror material put out by his friends at Bloat Games.

But...I mean, that's not stopping me from making a fantasy RPG...so why would that stop me here?

Image from Wikipedia

The Slasher

Hit Die: d12

Proficiencies
Armor:  None...you don't need it.
Weapons:  Knives, machetes, chainsaws, hooks, gloves with metal claws...really, anything with a blade, a point, or a portion capable of bludgeoning someone.  And all improvised weapons, too.  (Not guns, though.)
Saving Throws:  Constitution, Charisma
Skills:  Deception, Intimidation

What are your character’s interests and hobbies? What have they done with their life up until this point? Choose one additional Skill and one Talent or Weapon proficiency to represent these.

Equipment
Begin with a set of campaign-appropriate equipment (per DM).

Unkillable
Beginning at 1st level, whenever damage would reduce your hit points to 0 or below, your HP instead become 1, and you lose one round of action.  At the beginning of the next round, you gain 1d6 HP.

A Slasher always regains 1 HP per 10 minutes of in-game time until their maximum HP is reached.

Or, y'know, if you don't feel like dealing with all the bookkeeping, you could probably just ignore hit points altogether...just make sure you occasionally take a story-appropriate round to regroup so those kids can get away...

Getting the Hang of It

At 2nd level, you choose one specific type of weapon to be associated with your infamy.  You get +1 to all attack and damage rolls using this weapon.

Two Beheadings Are Better Than One
Beginning at 3rd level, you can attack twice, instead of once, whenever you take the Attack action on your turn, as long as the attacks are each directed at a different victim target.

Ability Score Increase
When you reach 4th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1.

They Had It Coming

At 5th level, you gain the ability to quickly assess any group of people and determine who among them would please a hypothetical audience the most by dying.  (This is determined by the DM; if there's no way of knowing which one of those folks is actually an arrogant MFer who makes fun of old people and probably tortures animals, determine this randomly.)  If you subsequently kill that character, you may immediately take another round of action.

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Have a great weekend, all!  Stay safe out there!

Related side note that this is the only place it'll probably ever make sense to share on here...where I live in Jersey, I'm near this state park and obviously think about a certain character every time I pass it or a sign for it...

Five categories of magic for a fantastically heartbreaking Mage

For my ongoing fantasy-heartbreaker-work-in-progress, I have now written out at least a first draft describing the magic types that Mages can choose from when they reach Level 2.

The current text for that section of the class description is below.  All thoughts and criticisms and questions and suggestions are welcome!

Image from the Super7 site

As a new spellcaster, a Mage is free to dabble in all types of low-level magic. At 2nd level, however, the Mage must choose a type of magic and its accompanying approach to spellcasting to shape their further development within the class. The magical classifications can sometimes run together, and it has been observed by many practitioners that each style has a pair of accompanying approaches that it appears to ally with most easily. The options include:

•  Arcane magic (alternatively: Esoteric, Metaphysical) – Arcane magic is learned through rigorous exercises and detailed study. It is capable of affecting our physical realm by manipulating the metaphysical framework that lies beneath. Practitioners of arcane magic are often known as Wizards.

•  Eldritch magic (alternatively: Profane, Diabolic, Demonic) – Eldritch magic relies upon the help of one or more entities from a realm outside of our own. The ethical motivation of a deity or other agent enabling Eldritch magic is often opposed to or incomprehensible within the framework of universal human morality, and may even appear chaotic from a human perspective. Those who wield Eldritch magic are often called Warlocks.

•  Impulsive magic (alternatively: Fervent, Elemental) – Impulsive magic is powered by the raw emotion of the realm, often intertwined with the supernatural urges of the very elements that make up the multiverse. Impulsive magic is often used by those we call Shamans.

•  Nature magic (alternatively: Worldly, Earthly, Terrestrial) – Nature magic is the supernatural expression of the will of the natural world. This will leans toward growth, health, symbiosis, and -- most of all -- balance. Nature magic sometimes seems elemental in nature but is more likely generated by the interactions of elements than by basic elemental motivations. Those who practice Nature magic are often known to others as Druids.

•  Divine magic (alternatively: Holy, Godly) – Much like Eldritch magic, Divine magic depends upon the assistance of a supernaturally powerful being that exists beyond normal human understanding. Unlike the magic practiced by Warlocks, however, Divine magic usually conforms to the values of traditional human religions. Note that this does not necessarily mean that all Divine magic is good; there are also aspects of it that restrict freedom, enforce conformity, and discourage creativity. Practitioners of Divine magic are often called Clerics.

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Geeky SKAturday: Hans Gruber and the Die Hards have a cheery message about the passage of time

Hans Gruber and the Die Hards are an Austin, TX, ska-punk band with an excellent name.

Image from Wikipedia

They've been around for more than a decade, but shamefully...shamefully, I say...I've only recently started to give them the attention they deserve.  They are...at various times, and sometimes all at once...frantic, catchy, and undeniably talented.

Ska-punk has a certain reputation among some people due to a heavy association of the genre with a specific sound and attitude exemplified by poppy SoCal outfits like Reel Big Fish in the '90s.  As I've mentioned before here on the blog, I like RBF quite a bit, and their fast, hooky brand of ska is part of what reeled me in to the genre as a whole (sorry about that one)...but I totally get how it's tough to take them too seriously for too long.  Hans Gruber and the Die Hards have some of that same irreverence, but it's accompanied by a different sort of silliness.  One that doesn't seem like it'll wear thin quite as easily.  I think they are, in a way, exactly what the genre needs.

I guess it's kind of hard to explain what I'm trying to say with that...so I'll just let the song speak.  This is a new recording of a song they first played several years ago, recently released on the EP Reboot, a split with the band Sgt. Scag.  I think it fits the time travel theme of these Geeky SKAturdays as a frank reflection on the inevitable end time brings to us all.  Here's "We're All Gonna Die"...

Interestingly, the Die Hards also have a tune on their 2022 album With A Vengeance that reflects on one's association with time, "Time, I Don't Want It Anymore"...

I don't find that one as catchy as "We're All Gonna Die"...but it definitely competes in the nihilistic flair department...

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Now, I'll talk RPGing for a second, so those of you who were just here for the opener, please feel free to head out.  I won't judge!

For those who want to talk gaming: I'm trying to figure out what sort of effects I want time travel to have on the characters in the game.  It stands to reason that moving through freaking time would have some effects on the travelers, eh?  Long term, short term, physical, mental, emotional...the whole range.

The flip side is that I don't necessarily want something that is absolutely central to the game setting (as the Agents of SKA protect the integrity of history by traveling its byways) to be too dangerous for the characters.  Then too much of the game is just rolling to see if you're hurt or killed by something you have to do.

For now, I'm just starting with something simple (maybe it'll need some additions later on)...

If characters travel five or more years through time in either direction, they must make a saving throw to determine if "timeline lag" impacts their abilities.  The difficulty is equal to 10 plus the log₁₀ of the number of years traveled.  (For game purposes, this can be estimated quickly by rounding the number of years traveled to the nearest power of 10 -- 10, 100, 1000, etc. -- and counting the number of zeroes in the result.  So, for example, 8,000 years would round up to 10,000, which has four zeroes.  Therefore, the difficulty of the saving throw would be 10 + 4 = 14.)

If they fail the saving throw, characters have disadvantage on all attacks, checks, and saving throws for one hour after arriving at their new point in time.

In many cases, time travelers do not get a sense that they are impaired until they begin attempting tasks that actually have a reasonable chance of failure.  Thus, referees may choose to make these saving throws in secret, letting players know the result only when their character makes their first roll.

Meta Monday: Doki Doki Panic and the greatest(?) NES game of them all

The article feed on my Google Chrome home page (do we call that a chromepage? and if not, why not?) shows exceptional insight when it comes to understanding what will get me to click and read.  I know a lot of us have had moments where it seemed like an algorithm channeled via our phones -- whether for ads, or news, or autofilling our sentences -- must have had access to our verbal conversations.  Occasionally, it seems like that access extends to my thoughts.

Yesterday, I was thinking about what I would like to post for Meta Monday today.  Realizing that my likely subject would lead me to talk about the 1988 Nintendo game Super Mario Bros. 2 (hereafter SMB2), I started thinking about where I could place it in my list of NES favorites.  Because it might be my favorite.  I know that the third entry in the series gets the most ink as the greatest NES game of them all, and the first is always referenced in Top X lists because of its immeasurable influence on the industry.  I never got a lot of experience with 3, however, and the classic Super Mario Bros. -- while certainly way up there for me (and maybe my favorite when it comes to setting) -- just can't QUITE compete with the upper, upper echelon of games in my memory (that'd be The Legend of Zelda, Punch-Out!!, Dr. Mario, and Double Dragon for anyone keeping score).

SMB2, though...it's up there.  So I definitely had a little "no way...!" go off in my head when this article (with this photo) popped up in my feed:

Darn you, Google...even your clickbait apparently works on me, because I should have known that the list would include #1 and #3, but my precious SMB2, which 11-year-old me paid an insane forty-five of my own 1989 American dollars for so I that could experience the adventures of Mario and his friends in the dream world of Subcon, is nowhere to be found.  Underrated!

The article isn't bad, though.

I got my NES for Christmas 1988, which was also the holiday season that SMB2 was burning through toy aisles.  I don't think I even laid eyes on a copy of it until that fateful day the next year when I happened to be at the right store, at the right time, to pay whatever was asked of me to get it into my hands.  There were aspects of it that really were revolutionary to me at the time.  Being able to select different characters, with different capabilities, just seemed brilliant.  You could play as a Mushroom Retainer!  And apparently, his name is Toad!  AND the princess FLOATS!!  It was worth every penny.

From this r/nostalgia thread

I don't think any of us knew it at the time, but it's a well-known Nintendo factoid now that Mario 2 was released in Japan as a completely different game, Yume Kōjō: Doki Doki Panic.  There are lots of internet sources that can provide a much better summary of this history than I am qualified to give.  (You can check it out its page at the Nintendo Wiki here, should you be so inclined.)  In short, though...it apparently began life as a tech demo that was influenced by -- and perhaps was even intended to be used for -- the Mario series.  It would then be developed in coordination with Fuji Television as a game accompanying their event known as Yume Kōjō '87 (Dream Factory '87).  When the game released in Japan as Super Mario Bros. 2 was deemed too difficult and not innovative enough to satisfy the American market, Doki Doki Panic was reskinned into a Mario game.

A character comparison between the two games; found this on Pinterest.  Many other changes are also documented here.

(A note before I forget: I would not be surprised if there's something about the presentation of the Arab family in Doki Doki Panic that, with the benefit of almost four decades' worth of reflection, is less culturally sensitive that many -- including me -- would prefer.  Not what I'm getting into here, although please feel free to let me know if you have any insight in this area!)

Now...what exactly makes it meta?  Well, even when we got the game here in the States, there was still a meta element to it, as the instruction manual's intro explained how Mario and his buds ended up in a world that he originally saw in a dream...

The whole manual is at the Internet Archive

In Doki Doki Panic, however, the meta stakes are taken up to another level, as the characters actually make their way into the Land of Dreams through the pages of a book!  Here's the game's intro:

(In a more realistic art style, that would actually be at least a little creepy.)

Visiting the worlds of the tales we tell...that's the guiding motif of these Meta Mondays, and I actually think that SMB2 -- and, even more so, its original implementation as Doki Doki Panic -- not only matches this theme...it also might be the greatest NES game ever while doing so.  It's definitely up there.  Although maybe I just need to spend some more time on SMB3.

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Now...because I'm doing a reasonably good job of keeping this a sort-of-focused tabletop gaming blog, let me tabletop-game-ify something from SMB2!  As I noted, I really dug getting the chance to play as different characters, and Toad was especially fun.  Not only was it cool as hell to play a Mushroom Person, but being the fastest and strongest also meant that he was great at pulling up shrubs to get coins that gave me a shot at extra lives.  Since I'm trying to figure out this Monstrous Heartbreaker thing...and since the species in the game will likely be VERY 5e-based (especially since I've discovered I even like 5e species builds in OSR-based games)...why don't I take a crack at the Toad (as a species) for 5e?  I'm sure it's been done already, probably many times, but maybe not this quick and dirty before...

Toad (the species)

Image by Shigehisa Nakaue, found at Wikipedia

Toad (Mushroom People) Traits

Your Toad character has unique traits based upon their (possibly) fungal origins and lifestyle.  (Remember, the mushroom cap is part of their head, not a hat...)

Ability Score Increase:  Your Strength score increases by 2. Choose one additional ability score to increase by 1.

Age:  Toads seem to age at about the same rate as humans.

Size:  Adult toads are generally 3-4 feet tall and weigh around 40-50 pounds.  They are usually classified as small.

Name:  Toad seems to be a really common one...but don't let that limit you!

Speed:  Your base walking speed is 35 feet.

Loyalty:  Toads have advantage on all attack rolls against an enemy who is engaged in combat with one or more of their (the Toad's) friends.  They also have advantage on all ability checks and saving throws related to tasks that will save a friend.

Languages:  Toads are fluent in the common language of the game world (often English), but are also sure to know at least one other language that originates somewhere in the Mushroom Kingdom.

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This month's post about compensating for lifelong underachievement by fighting with elemental creatures on digital cards

Last month, I shared a summary of my efforts to prove my worth in the first season of ranked competition for the Pokémon Trading Card Game Pocket mobile game.  I think I'll make this a monthly habit for as long as the game occupies a significant portion of my free brainwaves.  It's still a fun diversion, very much worth the minimal investment of free...and probably worth more than that, although I enjoy the added challenge of being "free to play" (F2P, as they say).  I also don't have a ton of pocket money to throw at Pocket Monsters at the moment, so it suits my budget well!

To recap: In the first season of ranked play, I managed to hit the highest category (excluding those who do well enough for a numerical ranking), that of Master Ball, with a deck using Weezing, Weavile, and Darkrai.  It performed pretty well against the ubiquitous and overwhelmingly hated deck known as Darktina (running Darkrai + Giratina), and I was happy to reach "the top" with something other than the format's bogeyman.  My win rate was a whopping 50.1%.  I was at peace with my skill level.  Now, I just needed to repeat this effort in May.

In Pokémon TCG Pocket, ranked seasons start the day after the release of a new set, and the metagame was sure to be shaken up for the new month of play.  Two cards in particular were set to scramble the established order of deck power: Rare Candy and Oricorio (Pom-Pom Style; images from Game8)...

Without getting too far into the weeds of trying to explain why these cards would change things so dramatically (to the extent that I'm even capable of doing so), I'll just summarize the main phenomenon each one was expected to bring about:

    1. Rare Candy would allow decks running Stage 2 Pokémon to operate faster, thus keeping pace with decks that run only Basic Pokémon.

    2. Oricorio would hinder decks that relied only upon what are known as ex Pokémon (which are more powerful but punish their player more when knocked out).

Darktina...the reviled monster of the April meta...runs only Basics and relies on ex 'mons, so it wasn't expected to have the same power in the new environment.  As anticipated, it was much rarer to come across an opponent playing Darktina on the ranked ladder than it was by the end of the previous season, when it literally seemed like a majority of players were wielding that hated beast.

I tried all kinds of decks this month.  I'm gonna guess...oh, somewhere between 10 and 20 different deck archetypes saw play under my handle.  I started out okay (and luckily only dropped down a couple of levels from my finishing position last season)...but bit by bit, I got worse and worse.  After 100 games, I had a 52% win rate, clearly not stellar but better than I fared in April.  Before too long, I found myself at 120-145-1 (45.1%) and without much confidence that I would improve.

So...I embraced the beast.  I decided to play Darktina.  Here's the deck that I would eventually settle on (you can see by its name that I wasn't exactly proud of the choice):

And I'll be damned if I didn't go on a 40-20 run to hit Master Ball.  After floundering around for 266 games with a losing record, it just took me 60 games to hit my goal.  I don't know how my skill increased so much, so quickly... ;)

This exercise convinced me that Darktina was still the best deck in the format...and I'm not sure it was really all that close.  (I expressed this on Reddit, and...wouldn't you know...it wasn't met with resounding agreement.  It's pretty interesting how attached players can get to their favorite decks...!)  It still fared well against decks running Rare Candy because those decks depend upon having the right combination of cards to "go off."  If they hesitate, Darktina is ready to pounce.  And it fared surprisingly well against the little yellow birdie by chipping away damage with Darkrai and carefully employing trainer cards that force one's opponent to switch out their active Pokémon.  I think I probably won some games I could easily have lost if my opponents had just decided to not play other 'mons to the board, forcing me to deal with an Oricorio that I couldn't damage through attacks.

Another brand new season started today, and I think I'm gonna have to go for the hat trick and shoot for Master Ball a third time.  One day, it'll actually be enough, and I will have proven to myself that I have what it takes to be mediocre and persistent enough to regularly earn the little Master Ball icon.  One day.

Now, if you've taken the time to look through this post...even to just skim it...I really appreciate it!  And I have a question: What about this type of post would make it more interesting and worthwhile to you?  Normally, I don't really worry about this very much, because I just enjoy posting my nerd thoughts, and I know that there's a set of folks who are likely to read them because they share some interests with me.  However...this isn't the sort of subject matter that generates much interest among those who frequent RPG blogs, so if I can do something to make it better fit the blog's very loose "theme" (which I already stretch regularly with Geeky SKAturdays), I should maybe give it a shot...!

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With that said, I shall now turn this into a more normal Monstrous Matters post by statting out a monster.  Specifically, I'm taking a look at Darkrai, since it's appeared in both of my final ladder decks so far...

From Game8

Darkrai is honestly a pretty cool 'mon.  It's considered Mythical but may or may not actually be a unique being.  And it causes nightmares.  It might even feed on dreams, which is a trope I'm pretty sure I've encountered before, but it still seems badass.  And to add a sympathetic angle, it seems that the nightmare generation might actually just be a defense tactic rather than something done to intentionally bring pain to others.  (If you're interested, you can read more about Darkrai at Bulbapedia...!)

Darkrai

HD 4 (14 HP), AC 12

Weakness: Grass

Ability: Nightmare Aura - All creatures near Darkrai (including other active Elemental Beasts) must make a WIS save each round or take 1d6-1 damage.

Attack: Dark Prism +4 (2d6+2 darkness damage)

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Next up for my fantasy heartbreaker: The Mage!

I'm really doing it!  I'm plodding forward with my fantasy heartbreaker!

(Those sentences were as much about positive affirmation as they were about exposition.  But really...I think I'm doing it...)

I introduced a minimalist Warrior class a couple weeks ago.  Now it's time to take a look at those who choose to wield magic.  Alongside the Warrior, there shall be...

The Mage

I don't think I've ever shied away from making it obvious that my view of fantasy is heavily influenced by Magic: The Gathering.  One of the most interesting aspects of the magic employed in MTG lore is the balance of five colors, each with their own goals and methods.

From the MTG Wiki

I really don't know that it can be overstated how elegantly brilliant this cosmology is.  While I know that colors of magic and a circular grouping of elements is a whole trope in itself (one that I played around with consolidating earlier this year), the MTG color wheel has been a robust foundation for both the mechanics of the game and the philosophical underpinnings of the game's world for more than 30 years, and there's no sign that the approach has lost any luster over time.  If you want to check out a really solid article about the colors of Magic and their real-world implications, you'll probably want to click here to see Duncan Sabien's treatise "The MTG Color Wheel (& Humanity)."  It's a great read and worth some re-reads!

The MTG team has taken a lot of care over the years to give their in-universe magic wielders the trappings of fantasy lore that best fit the colors.  Blue magic-users are almost always wizards, for example, while black mages might be wizards, but they also could be clerics or warlocks.  This taxonomy reached an apex of symmetry in the expansion Strixhaven: School of Mages in 2021.  The set is based upon the happenings at a university of magic -- the titular Strixhaven -- which is divided into five colleges, each based upon one of MTG's pairs of "enemy" colors (the ones that oppose each other on the wheel above).

Furthermore, the nature of each college highlights the tension between its constituent colors on an axis that makes them "enemies."  The red-blue college, for instance, is Prismari, focused on the arts.  Students and faculty here may take a very blue approach, working to understand the elements of their craft and how they interact to produce a reaction in an audience.  Or...they might be very red, concerned only with passionately expressing the feelings that drive them to create.

It's a pretty cool setup.  And since the set is filled with mages of all five colors and some mixtures thereof, the MTG team firmly divided up the "character classes" (creature types) of the cards by color, with each color getting one term to describe the practitioners of its magic.  Here is one of the cycles of the set, the Pledgemages...each one is a species associated with one color, and the class of mage associated with its partner:

From a Scryfall search

And I love this.  It satisfies some of the fundamental cravings of my neurodivergence.  It's just so round...so symmetrical...so clean!

And so...that's what I want to bring into the Monstrous Heartbreaker's Mage.  I'm already working on a general class model where each hits a point of specialization at level 2.  For the Mage, second level will be when a player determines if their character is actually a druid, a shaman, a warlock, a wizard, or a cleric.  It shouldn't be too difficult to assign each spell one or more sources of power according to the D&D classes that cast it.  I just need to figure out exactly what to call these types of magic.  Right now, I'm working with...

Wizard (blue) - Arcane or Metaphysical

Warlock (black) - Eldritch or Diabolic

Cleric (white) - Divine or Holy

Druid (green) - Nature maybe?  (Not sure I like Primal...)

Shaman (red) - This is the toughest one to me.  Elemental?  Emotional?  Passion?  I'm very open to ideas!!

So hopefully, when next I post on the heartbreaker, I'll have this terminology figured out and have a class laid out for building...!

Geeky SKAturday: "Keasbey Nights" live by Catch 22, plus the Keasbey Knight for Agents of SKA

A very pleasant Geeky SKAturday to all of you reading this!  Today's entry will be a little different; rather than focusing on a new release for 2025, I want to share a recent live recording of an old song that I've just uploaded to YouTube.  Skip to the video if you just want the good stuff (although I'll admit that the audio quality, from my phone, isn't the best).  If you're up for reading some background...

First, I will also admit that in the early days of my fascination with ska, I didn't give much attention to the band Catch 22.  As my interest in the genre grew, I largely sought out more traditional bands, and they just never ended up very squarely on my radar.

Image from their Facebook page

It was only after starting grad school (a little later in life than is typical) that I began talking with the youngsters around me about ska and realizing that the band Streetlight Manifesto (formed by some members of Catch 22) is a HUGE player in the ska scene for the generation younger than me.  It took some time, but I finally started giving Streetlight...and eventually Catch 22...enough attention to recognize why they have been such influential forces in ska's Third Wave.

Now...I won't even begin to get into the dynamics between Streetlight Manifesto and Catch 22, both of which are still performing...mostly because I wouldn't be able to write with any knowledge of the subject.  If there was ever any negativity between them, it doesn't seem to be a part of their current narratives, especially considering that multi-instrumentalist (and music teacher/band director) Jamie Egan, after being part of the Catch 22 contingent that formed Streetlight, has since returned to the ranks of the original band (and now shares the stage with his son Connor, which is pretty cool).  The question of the bands' dynamics definitely comes to mind, though, when you consider that guitarist/vocalist Tomas Kalnoky left Catch 22 after one studio album, Keasbey Nights (all songs written by him), then would go on to re-record it with Streetlight Manifesto.

Which brings us to this recording.  I've been lucky over the past couple of years to catch...er, Catch 22 live a couple times.  (I guess I haven't mentioned yet that they're a New Jersey band, so that prospect is a lot easier now that I live up here.)  This recording is from a show they played with the Slackers and Crazy & the Brains on April 11 of this year, at the Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ.  (You can go here for a video showing a little overview of the evening, including documentation of my skinny ass moving almost in time with the beat.)

Here they are with the title track from Keasbey Nights...

And...because the recording quality there wasn't exactly great, let me also share the band's original studio recording of the song...

I really believe this is one of the classics of modern ska.

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As I fall into way too easily, I've already rambled way more than I intended about today's music, and I still want to talk about how this fits into the RPG adventures of the Agents of SKA, who travel the streams of time to defend the multiverse from evil.  Without hinting at more detail than I'm able to articulate at the moment, I'd like for this song to serve as the basis for one of the setting's character classes: the Keasbey Knight (with thanks going out to whoever it is who has this as a username that I saw online, inspiring its use in the game).  I see the Keasbey Knight as a half caster and the champion of an ideal, much like a Paladin or Ranger.  But...the champion of what?  Well...that'll be based on the lyrics.  So let me share those here (courtesy of LyricFind via Google):

It was the summer of '95 (so what?!),

In the backyard, shaving the old plies.

Feeling so strong, something went wrong.

Straight into my finger, what a stinger, it was so long.

I still remember that day, like the day that I said that I swear,

"I'll never hurt myself again",

But it seems that I'm deemed to be wrong, to be wrong, to be wrong.

So I've got to keep holding on

They always played a slow song.

When they come for me, I'll be sitting at my desk,

With a gun in my hand, wearing a bulletproof vest

Singing "my, my, my, how the time does fly,

When you know you're going to die by the end of the night."

I still remember when we were young and fragile then.

No one gave a shit about us because times were tougher then.

Feeling so good, cruising the hood; straight into the real world,

Rich kids never understood. But I don't care.

I can fade away to anywhere.

Don't stop because you might get dropped

And if you do who's going to pick you up.

Well I won't, they always played a slow song.

So...yeah!  The class is based on that!  Although...well, maybe it goes without saying that there doesn't seem to be universal agreement on exactly what the song is all about.  However...I think we can run with it!  I mean...I'm a Gen Xer, a part of the grunge generation, so I've certainly listened to (and sung) my share of impenetrable lyrics.  There's something different about this experience, though.  Whereas I'm very familiar with the reaction of, "Well, Kurt, I have no idea what you mean there...but you're right, the world is fucked up!"...this song just seems more nostalgic and...dare I say, hopeful...??  (Eh...maybe not that last one...but still...)

Keasbey is a community here in Jersey, by the way.  And I think there's a certain feeling to this song...of the friendships of youth, the necessity of perseverance even in relatively normal circumstances of growing up, and of coming to terms with promises both fulfilled and unfulfilled.

But...I could be full of shit.  Hopefully it'll be a fun class to play, anyway!