RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 9 - The Big Bad™

Rolling on with Barking Alien's RPG CAMPAIGN TOUR CHALLENGE...

Day 9 - Who's in charge here?
Who are the major movers and shakers in the campaign?

As this is a WIP campaign setting, we have another question here for which I have a general plan but not necessarily the specifics.  You might call it the skeleton of a plan.  Just the bare bones of it.  Some bits of lore bouncing around in my skull.

Image from Wiki Grayskull

So...there's an oppressive force in the setting...vaguely governmental and driven by profit and power.  I know them right now as The Corporation.

And then, based on the Fifth Moon of Elysia, there's a rebellion in effect.  I'm not completely sure what they'll be called, but I like the idea of tying anarchism into it, since that word gets such a bad rap.

It seems important to give The Corporation a face, since the Big Bad™ was one of the defining features of '80s adventure animation (and most cartoons meant to sell toys, maybe...?).  I'd like to follow the trend begun with Skeletor up there and arguably continued with his She-Ra counterpart.  (Even though, yeah, I realize Hordak's face isn't necessarily bone, even if I don't really know what it is.  He does have a very skeletal fashion sense, however...)

Image from Wiki Grayskull

I know if I widen the space fantasy scope a bit (beyond MotU) I'll find plenty of non-bone-associated villainy, but this seems like a good place to start.  (And even non-skeletal examples like the Thundercats' archenemy Mumm-Ra can have an undead theme going on...)  And I like the simplicity of the names: Skeletor.  Hordak.  In Blackstar, there was the Overlord.

Therefore, the being who is keeping an evil, undead, iron grip on the Elysia system shall be...

Necronimus

Image to come...at some point...I've gotta think about this one!  Whatever his or her final form, I do think one of the images from this Game-icons.net set might be a reasonable symbol for them...

Hmm...skeletal bird head guy...?

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 8 - Humans and other people

Well, I'm not really catching up at all, but it does look like this post-a-day thing is doable for now!  (Maybe that's why daily blogging challenges like this RPG Campaign Tour one make a lot of sense...?😅)  On to the inhabitants of Elysia's star system...

Day 8 - Tell us about the local peoples and their cultures.
Describe the people and their Species, Nationalities, and other identifying features.

(Okay, so this post could be essentially never-ending if I really went into detail!  The thing is...I don't even have many of those details.  But...I can tell you this...)

Life on Elysia and the astronomical bodies near it is extremely diverse.  Like...Earth diverse and then some.  After all, while there are some number of species who are native to these planets and moons (or, at least, were transported here millennia before most of the sapient beings arrived), the collection of species who currently have the biggest footprint in the system have been transplanted here from many different planets, realms, and universes.  Of note:

Humans - Yep, there are definitely plenty of regular ol' humans running around this place.

Orcs and other traditional fantasy species - Every species that is widely accepted in 'standard' fantasy TTRPGs can be found somewhere in the system, although they often go by different names or have subtle variations compared to their literary or gaming counterparts.  Sometimes, they are even surprisingly similar to species that appear in other sword and planet fiction.  For example, the most well-known orcs in the realm tend to be blue, like Kraite Felrune and his compatriots here...

Image by Land_of_Books_YouTube

As portals and spaceways have connected Elysia to other, similar planets and systems, it has been impossible to ignore that they are likely related to people from potentially distant points in spacetime...

From walmart.com (definitely not an affiliate link fwiw...)

And then there's a bunch of crazy shit too.  Humanoid beast people.  Some talking animals.  Chalcothon, of course, is ruled by metallic dragons who have also ventured into the cosmos.  (Allying with these ancient and powerful beings, btw, has been a huge theme in the goals of both The Corporation and its opposition.)

Image from one of the many D&D wikis out there

And while it could be argued that he falls into the "humanoid beast people" mentioned above, I do want to highlight one of the species that I know has made their way to the system:

Image from Wiki Grayskull

Why highlight these Bee People?  Well...partly because they are just ridiculous enough to exemplify the sort of anything-goes space fantasy I'm trying to evoke here.  And partly because one of them is very likely to show up here before the challenge ends...

Thank you, as always, for checking out my rambling!  Hope to be back soon...!

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 7 - Should we talk about the weather?

I don't want to jinx anything, but it looks like I'm about to have a second post done in as many calendar days! (Maybe I can catch up this weekend...?🤔) Well...next on the track of Barking Alien's RPG CAMPAIGN TOUR CHALLENGE (2026 edition)...

Day 7 - What's the weather like today?

Is there a particular climate or weather that's prominent in the region of the campaign? Does it vary? What is it like and how bad does it get?

This one's pretty easy if we're talking about the planet Elysia itself...

Image by s3jlev, from Pixabay

It's cold today.  And windy.  And grey.  In fact, it's pretty much always like the middle of one of these depressing New Jersey winters, when the Sun never quite reaches a high point in the sky, and there are three straight months of identically dismal days.  (Seriously, I know that there are places way more wintery than our winter, but my Georgia-born self may never get used to just how bleak midwinter can get around here.)

In the image above, we can see the house of The Corporation's manager of a local mine, on a hill overlooking the substandard homes of the miners and their families.  (And that picture was actually taken on a really pretty day...)

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The moons show a lot more variety, though!  AB-5.5 aka the Fifth Moon of Elysia, as noted, is pretty darn Earthlike...

Image by AdisResic

...so whatever you can find on our planet (and then some) can probably be found somewhere on AB-5.5.  And it does change with the season...so today, for example, it's cold...and windy....and grey...like the middle of one of these depressing New Jersey winters, when the Sun never quite reaches a high point in the sky, and there are three straight months of...

Hrm.  Okay, I'll pull it together...

That's all for today, except for this stream-of-consciousness nonsense...!

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(Hi, hi, hi.)

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Oh!  And today is...

Image from Figure Realm

...so please enjoy your day and take care out there!

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 6 - Where shall we start? (I mean really start this time...)

Problem #1: Attempting a daily blogging challenge when you're not a very consistent blogger is bound to put you way behind.

Solution #1: Just keep track of the ones you miss and post all of them at once to catch up!

Problem #2: The longer you wait to catch up, the more effort required in the catch-up post, and the less likely you are to actually finish it.

Solution #2: Ignore Solution #1!

So, here's my next entry for Adam Dickstein/Barking Alien's excellent RPG Campaign Tour Challenge...which I am thoroughly enjoying despite my involvement gaps...!

Day 6 - Where shall we start?
Where did the campaign begin and/or where should a traveler to the region start their journey through it?

We meet in a tavern!  Seriously...I knew I needed to go in the classic fantasy direction as soon as I saw that Tim's Day 6 entry over at The Other Side is a take on this RPG staple...and on the same day that Dyson (over at his Dodecahedron) shared a map of the Flying Swine.  I will admit that I really like this naming convention...that classic [Adjective][Creature] scheme...for inns and taverns.  Masters of the Universe media have even gotten in on the fun (the naming and the adventure kickoff) at least once, with Adam and Cringer meeting Bow at the Laughing Swan Inn in She-Ra's very first episode...

A view of the Laughing Swan, from Wiki Grayskull

So...where did this naming scheme come from, exactly?

(No, really...I'm asking.  If you're reading this and know the answer, I'd love to be let in on it!  Can it all be traced back to the Prancing Pony in The Lord of the Rings?)

Whatever the overall origin, I'm going to reach back to my early DMing days, to a name I relied on back then for this role...the Dire Goose Tavern.  It's a watering hole on Elysia's fifth moon that is well-known as a key gathering place for the many anti-Corporation insurgents and anarchists that gather on that world.  Of course, this also means that it attracts plenty of Corporate spies looking to infiltrate the rebellion and secure victory for the villains.  You can find food, drinks, rooms for rent, and some pretty big screens to watch the Staveball matches going on that day.  Just be sure you pay attention to that hooded figure over in the shadows of the corner table...

Oh!  It's also pretty famous for its faux-dragon 'wings', which regularly earn The Most Powerful Compliment in the Universe™ for consumables free of animal products: You can't even tell it's vegan...

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 5 - Origins of the Fifth Moon of Elysia

Well...as we all know, "the best intentions something something something," so despite hoping to get back to the blog after yesterday's post to continue the tour and maybe even get caught up...here I am well over 24 hours later seeing that there's almost no way that happens.  Because this next question...oh boy, does it make me want to ramble.

So there's your warning.  Now let's see where this takes me...

Day 5 - Can you tell us about the campaign's history?
(In the real world and within the universe.)

To start off: Why am I so adamant about gaming with action figures?!?  (And what is it about He-Man?)

I have imagined making action figure skirmish gaming a major part of my hobby life for years now.  It might have emerged soon after I first discovered minis gaming, when I started to work on a universe and system to support battles among garden gnomes in actual gardens.  Since then, the idea to set up a game in whatever outside environment I happen to find myself in has crept into my thoughts over, and over, and over.  And the more I've thought about it, the more I've idealized the dream scenario in my mind...like the more I've thought about running outdoor miniature scenarios with toys being something that I could do to legitimately add a bit of positivity to the world.  (Even though I know that sounds a little...eh, pretentious...?)

Several years ago, I read an online piece about Masters of the Universe-styled figures' making a bit of a comeback.  I wish I could find that article again now...but the main things I remember are the emphasis on the unique figure anatomy (I think the author may have referred to them as "chunky") and the specific reference to their being perfect to play with at the beach.  This hit home because I remember doing exactly that!  Back in the early '80s, my family spent a day (I guess multiple days over the course of my childhood) at this "beach" in south Georgia called Crystal Lake.  (And this was after Friday the 13th had become a very well-known cultural reference point, so I don't know what they were thinking.  Maybe it existed before the first movie...?  Not sure, as I think it was actually an artificial body of water...)

Anyway...the brother of one of my sister's friends was also going to be there for one of these trips, and either through fortune or the kind foresight of our parents, he and I both ended up with chunky action figures to play with in the sand and water.  I had the one that was my first MotU figure (maybe my only one at the time?), and potentially the one that many people would find most appropriate to bring to such an outing...Mer-Man:

Photo from the Motu Vintage Variants page

Christopher, meanwhile, brought a figure that I wasn't yet familiar with...

I believe The Warrior Beasts were made by Remco alongside their Warlord (and other DC Comics fantasy property) action figure line, perhaps to serve as villains.  (I definitely find that little "PLAY WITH" box mentioning Arak and the Warlord alongside Masters of the Universe pretty interesting...!)  Gecko here was also a great choice for the day of play in the sand and Sun.

Now, add in a few other bits of info:

1.  The absurdly exaggerated bodies of these figures reinforce that they are meant for play, not accurate representation of reality;

2.  Masters of the Universe as an IP is arguably the strongest connection I have to what might be called 'classic fantasy' from my entire childhood.  (The fact that it's really Star Wars-influenced science fantasy only makes it cooler to me now, just as it did back then.  I mean...it's also basically a superhero setting, so it has elements of pretty much every type of adventure story I enjoyed as a kid!); and...

3.  The snowstorm across the American Northeast a couple weeks ago has left everything around me covered in snow for a while now, and as I'm driving, I can't help but think about how much fun it'd be to set up adventure scenarios in the yards, fields, and hills stretched out around me.

Put all of these things together, and I truly have this specific, archetypal experience playing out in my mind where strangers are brought together by the unbridled fun of rolling big dice outside to play out stories with action figures.  And while I'll probably always gravitate toward roughly 1:18 scale toys due to the fact that in my childhood, that was simply the default size for an action figure, it's definitely possible that this unbridled fun would be amplified even more if they happen to be ridiculously muscular 5.5" figures!

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Okay...and one more thing about Masters of the Universe that has struck me so powerfully lately that I felt it deserved an entirely new section of this post:  I am kind of blown away by how easy it is to find similarities between things happening in old episodes of He-Man and She-Ra and things happening right now in my own country.  I know that sounds...hmm...alarmist, maybe...?  But...I really didn't start my recent stretch of watching the old series with this connection in mind...yet it was impossible to ignore.  The Great Rebellion led by Princess Adora (that's She-Ra, in case you don't know) is fighting against a tyrannical government that ignores all manner of compassion and dignity to exploit its residents...even occupying villages with faceless troops who demand complete obedience.  Hell...I watched an episode of He-Man last night that had this kid talking about how great Skeletor is (while his father or grandfather was there telling him Skeletor couldn't be trusted), and I swear you could just replace "Skeletor" with a certain American celebrity/politician's name every time the boy spoke, and it would sound exactly like the sort of things being said in the United States right now.

Image from Wiki Grayskull

And y'know...maybe that's the craziest part of it all, the part that REALLY makes it resonate.  At some point, as I was aging out of the target audience range for Masters of the Universe, I started to recognize how ridiculous the caricatured portrayals of its villains really were.  I guess that could be said for a lot of cartoon "big bads" that were meant to be invariably selfish and occasionally bungling, but somehow powerful enough to be the biggest threats to their respective settings.  And it seems like that's exactly what I'm watching in the U.S. right now.  It's pretty easy to say, "Yeah, but how could someone like Skeletor gain so much power and inspire such loyalty in his lackeys?"  It's absurd...and kind of funny...but we're now seeing it every day in the real world.  It's un-freaking-believable at times...

Hmm.

So, yeah...He-Man and She-Ra really hit home these days.  Uncomfortably so.  However, the goofy heroism and kindness emphasized by their stories is as good a remedy as I can find to shake off the despair that discomfort brings with it.

So let's play with some chunky figures!!

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Heh.  There, I guess I'm done with the rambling.  I need to cover the other part of the question, though: What is the in universe history of the Fifth Moon of Elysia?  I'll see if I can make this quick...

The planet Elysia; art by Decster1

Elysia is the fifth planet in a system centered on a Class G star in a distant spiral galaxy.  It was what drew humanoid explorers to the system in the first place; while essentially an ice planet, huge deposits of etherealite with a variety of chemical compositions have been found just below the permafrost layer, in many spots around the globe.  This led The Corporation to send legions of miners and their families to live on the planet, exploiting the galaxy's many citizens in need for cheap labor and simultaneously mounting an incessant propaganda campaign that has influenced many of these very workers to develop great Corporate loyalty.  You might think, with a name like Elysia, that the planet would be a pretty fantastic place to live.  That certainly is not the case, but it is why The Corporation settled on that name.

Over time, other planets in the system have also been populated to varying extents, and a highly advanced civilization of metallic dragons was discovered on the system's third planet, Chalcothon.  In addition, the many moons of Elysia have been settled and offer a wide spectrum of experiences and adventures.  The Fifth Moon, aka AB-5.5, is the center of the system's resistance movement, a collection of warriors, mages, and citizens of all walks of life who recognize the uncaring and occasionally downright malicious intent of The Corporation's policies and are determined to bring a more progressive and democratic way of life to Elysia and its nearby planets and moons.

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Thank you for making your way through all of that (or even for skipping down to this sentence...)!  I shall be back tomorrow(?) with a focus on where we'll start our tour of AB-5.5...

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 4 - A little bit about AB-5.5's neighborhood

Moving along at an insufficient-but-better-than-average-for-this-blogger pace in this month's Campaign Tour Challenge, I have a bit more regarding the Fifth Moon of Elysia...

(Looking back to Adam's original post for guidance...)

Day 4 - Is there a map?
Give us a visual! Show us a map of your setting! Don't have one? WHY NOT?!?

Well, I didn't have one, but I found enough spare moments at work yesterday (don't tell anyone plz) to put together a rough...well, diagram, I guess.  This certainly isn't a proper map, as it definitely isn't to scale space-wise (after all, scale is actually pretty insane when it comes to astronomy), and the planets don't normally line up like this.  (Although I bet some really crazy magical stuff happens on the rare occasion they do!)

At any rate...here are the first five planets in the star system containing the planet Elysia, whose fifth moon (AB-5.5) is the starting point for this setting:

And while the spaces between them are obviously out of whack, I'd say the relative sizes of the planets themselves are probably pretty close to "accurate."  (And yeah, the sun over there on the left probably matches the inaccurate scaling of space more than the relative sizing of the planets...)  In order of average orbit distance from their sun, here's what interplanetary explorers think they've figured out at this point...

1. Aerona - A gaseous planet where most life is found on magically-floating landmasses or perpetually-flying aircraft.

2. Benthiko - Ocean planet!

3. Chalcothon - Ruled by metallic dragons...IN SPACE!  Well, they're in space when they leave the atmosphere of Chalcothon.  Which they do, often!

4. Duresta - It's yellow here, so...desert planet!  (Maybe...?)

5. Elysia - The heart of it all!  Like the metaphysically connected realms of Eternia and Etheria, Elysia is home to people, places, and artifacts of great magic.

Beyond Elysia, there's a big old asteroid belt that probably has a bunch of other ridiculously cool things going on in it, and then there are a number of planets even farther out.  Definitely some gas giants with inhabited moons.  (I actually really like the idea of keeping aspects of the system intentionally vague for as long as possible so that details can be filled in through play.)  But those five up there...those are the high points of the neighborhood for now.

And Elysia, of course, has nine moons.  Sometimes ten!  More on that later today...!

🤞 (for luck)

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Days 1-3 - The Fifth Moon of Elysia, plus Kraite Felrune and what's in the night sky

Buckle up, everyone...it's challenge time!

(Ugh.  "Buckle up."  Really...😅)

So anyway...when Adam Dickstein aka Barking Alien posted the details for his RPG CAMPAIGN TOUR CHALLENGE (not sure if the caps are important or not) last week, it was obvious to me that I wanted to take part.  It's always fun to be part of something as I tap away in my little corner of the blogosphere.  BUT...it wasn't obvious what I should write about.  The only game that I'm currently sort of running is the eponymous Monstrous Matters campaign, in which Father Josh continues to indulge my ridiculously overwrought fantasy dilemmas with even more ridiculously designed fantasy solutions.

I also really love the idea of having a blogging challenge force me to shape ideas bouncing around my noggin (oh man, I'm turning into my Dad...) into a form that's accessible to (1) people other than me, and (2) me, years from now when I mine my Monstrous ramblings for memories.  And so...I'm going back.  You might even say way back.  More than six years ago, I started writing about a gaming project that I had the bald-faced audacity to call "The One I'm Going to Finish."  That endeavor was also known as Project 5.5...a plan to formalize some game rules that make use of stocky, overmuscled, 5.5-inch action figures in the style of Masters of the Universe.

I even found an eBay deal for some old figures, to kickstart my character creation...

I'm actually not 100% certain where these figures have been stashed away since we moved to New Jersey, which is probably some sort of metaphor for my lifelong struggle to pay attention to one of my "million dollar ideas" long enough to get a few bucks' worth of fun out of it.

Alas...aka of course...that didn't end up being the one I finished.  But maybe there's still enough time to correct that...?  And even if I don't completely complete it, in a complete way, maybe some creativity will get splashed onto my other creative projects through their connections to Project 5.5 or simply the mind-flexing that will surely accompany seeing everyone else's posts for the month.

Then it's settled!  For Barking Alien's RPG Campaign Tour Challenge, I present...

The Fifth Moon of Elysia...

The fifth moon is that blue marble to the upper left of Elysia; image by Decster1

...a heroic science fantasy setting filled with rebels, magic, technology, and lots (and lots) of muscles.

So let's get into this thing!  (And get...almost caught up...!)

Check out Adam's full post for more details on the daily assignments...which I'll also write out as I go...

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Day 1 - Campaign Introduction and Overview
What is your campaign called, what system does it use, and what is it all about?

The Fifth Moon of Elysia is all about heroes and villains battling for the magical soul of the multiverse.  Elysia is the fifth planet in its star system, and many of the celestial bodies within rocketshot are prime adventure locales.  The system's heroes are colorful, and its villains are pretty unflinchingly evil...but maybe we can even work in a shade of gray here and there...

For the game (not star) system, I'll take a stab at polishing up the framework I've been throwing about for playing with action figures of a slightly smaller scale...which will broadly follow the rules of my own take on a (Monstrous) fantasy heartbreaker.

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Day 2 - About Your Tour Guide
Introduce us to a character who can serve as our guide through your campaign and its setting.

All right, let's see.  I think maybe I have a direction to take this, so let's go with this guy...

Kraite Felrune

Image by Land_of_Books_YouTube

(He's the one in the middle.)

Kraite spent much of his youth with various Orcish raiding parties, having plenty of good times and causing plenty more destruction across the entire system.  But now he's seen the light, found his purpose, and started fighting the battles of a hero.  He stands in fierce opposition to the cruel authoritarian rule of the Evil Being That Wants to Rule Everything™.

We'll all learn more about Kraite as the month goes on...

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Day 3 - Where the heck are we?
What is the campaign's location, and where is that location relative to other important places?

Let's zoom in on our moon of interest:

Image by AdisResic

If it looks Earthlike...well, yeah.  The fifth moon of the system's fifth planet Elysia (sometimes referred to as Astronomical Body 5.5, any other names TBD soonish) would definitely remind us of our own homeworld.  There are even a bunch of the same organisms living on both our Earth and AB-5.5.  But rest assured...there's some weird shit here too.  (I can't wait to learn about it all...!)

Oh!  And Elysia actually has nine moons, plus a tenth that only appears during certain time windows in the story of the universe.  And all of the moons are really closely tied to the magic in the setting.

Hmm...

Okay, thank you for reading!  See you soon with more from AB-5.5...

Not AB-5.5; also, swiped from the Battle Ram blog

[Biome] Goblins for 5e-ish games

I've been thinking a lot about forest goblins lately.  You know how that is.

So...I guess I should start by just making it clear that I like goblins.  Quite a bit, actually.  This is at least partially a direct result of my loyalty to the lovable little troublemakers in Magic: The Gathering.  I really enjoy playing so-called 'typal' decks, and Goblins are probably the creature type that I've built around the most (with Merfolk as the only other group that could maybe mount a challenge for that 'honor').  Goblins have a great history in the game and a lot of solid cards that still manage to feel like underdogs due to their often tiny stats and goofy themes...even if we all know they're actually quite good within the rules and goals of the game...

For the most part, MTG's goblins fit a fairly standard fantasy model.  There have been lots of little green guys.  Over 30+ years of history, though, they have managed to mix it up pretty well...with a few quick examples being the turtle-like Akki from the plane of Kamigawa and the bipedal rodents who serve as snacks for dragons on the plane of Jund.

Which (sort of) brings me to forest goblins.  Creatures in MTG usually represent at least one of the colors of the game, and goblins are the iconic small creature type for the color Red (with the accompanying iconic large creature type being dragons).  Red is the color of chaos, emotion, fire, and lightning, and...perhaps most informatively with regard to goblins...its mana is found naturally in mountains.  This fits nicely, I think, with our regular association of goblins with mountains, hills, and caves.

There are MTG goblins that touch each of the five colors, and some of my previous blog posts probably reveal my affinity for the little guys all across the spectrum, including those that (perhaps unexpectedly) deal in Blue or White mana.  After Red, though, MTG's goblins are most common in the colors that serve as Red's 'allies'...Black (death from the swamps) and Green (growth from the forests).  And as with many aspects of fantasy fiction, I have often found myself drawn to the elements that reflect a connection to nature...which in the case of goblins, usually means they tend toward the feral and shamanic.  Here are a few of the cool gobbos that touch green:

Naturally (heh), I'd like to work some goblins into the gaming projects that are currently solidifying around my hopes and daydreams.  They've shown up in the Monstrous Matters campaign as part of a pretty key plot point, and there's no reason they shouldn't be able to menace the elite soldiers in UNLTD or the time-traveling Agents of SKA (time goblins?).  And there's one other very specific reason that I want to make some solid rules for forest goblins...which I'll get to soon...hopefully in my next post...hopefully.  As with many fantasy species, though, I think goblins lend themselves to categorization based upon their biome of choice...so it should be easy to have a simple setup for creating Forest Goblins, Swamp Goblins, Desert Goblins, and so on...

I have the Guildmasters' Guide to Ravnica and checked out the Goblin species there for some inspiration.  Also drawing from the Goblin's stats as a 5e monster and as an OGL species from Arcanist Press's More Ancestries & Cultures, I think a ____ Goblin that covers the necessary bases while allowing for some environmental flavor should be pretty straightforward.  Let's try this...

[Biome] Goblin

Forest goblin art by Paul Bonner, found via the Scent of a Gamer blog

_____ Goblin Traits

Speed: 30 feet

Ability Score Increase: Your Dexterity score increases by 2, and your Constitution score increases by 1.

Darkvision: Goblins typically have darkvision at a range of 60 feet; for some biomes, evolution may have led to this being lost or even replaced by a visual ability more useful in that environment.

Size: Adult goblins are generally between 3 and 4.5 feet tall; their weight can vary greatly due to a large range in how thickly they are framed.  Overall, they are usually classified as small.

Age: Goblins usually mature faster than humans, reaching adulthood and old age at earlier points in their lifetimes.  A 50-year-old goblin is a rarity.  Some groups of goblins may age at about the same rate as humans, but you will never find goblins that are as long-lived as elves or dwarves.

Languages: Goblins are fluent in the common language of the game world, as well their own particular dialect of the Goblin language. They are often literate in settings where this is feasible for a goblin.

Nimble Escape: You can take the Disengage or Hide action as a bonus action on each of your turns.

At HOME in the BiOME: You aren't just a Goblin.  You're a Mountain Goblin.  Or a Swamp Goblin.  Or maybe a Forest Goblin.  You may treat whichever biome you are from as favored terrain, with the corresponding bonuses granted to a Ranger with the Natural Explorer ability.

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Gnawgahyde (G.I. Joe) - Level 2 Expert

No fancy intros for this one.  I'm just getting down to business: cooking up stats for another figure from my shelf of random nostalgia...

Let's go with...Gnawgahyde, the Dreadnok poacher.  And maybe his pet boar Clyde as well...

Working for now with the basic building blocks of Warrior, Expert, and Adept, Gnawgahyde seems fine for an Expert.  If I get classes filled out nicely at some point, and I have a good Hunter/Ranger type, I guess he matches that archetype pretty well, but for now...Expert will do.

Here's his old file card...

From YoJoe.com

I'm not sure why we don't get any information on where he's from...unless it's just supposed to be so freaking obvious from his appearance.  This was before any of us knew of Steve Irwin, so Crocodile Dundee was America's greatest cultural reference point for Australia...and Gnawgahyde here certainly has an aura of 'villainous Crocodile Dundee' about him.  I think you can also argue that Gnawgahyde has Bayou Billy vibes, so I'll admit that I did have to do a quick search to confirm that his accent and dialogue also point to an Australian origin (vs. the rural American South).  And also...isn't it a little odd that his real name is so hard to come by?  From what I've seen, the only notable reference to it is on the file card accompanying his 2011 figure...

Also from YoJoe.com

Clyde "Gnaw" Hyde.  Hmm.  Okay.  Maybe because Naugahyde is a registered trademark?  (Side note: there's definitely something gameable in the Nauga, the creature whose 'hyde' is used in its production...)

Image from Wikipedia

And, isn't his warthog named Clyde?  Did he name a pet after himself...?  His figure from the newer Classified series has a warthog named Porkbelly (plus a macaque named Yobbo), so maybe there's a retcon at work here...

...

Well darn, what was it I was saying about getting down to business...?  Time to do that for real.  Then maybe I'll look around to find a replacement hat for my Gnaw figure.  (I'll get to Clyde a little later, too...)

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Gnawgahyde

Clyde "Gnaw" Hyde

Promo image from Amazon

Expert, Level 2

Human

Born: Australia, 1950

Occupation: Poacher

Affiliation: Dreadnoks

STR       DEX        CON      INT       WIS      CHA

16 (+2)  13 (+1)    14 (+1)   9 (--)   12 (--)  5 (-2)

HP 10   Move 30 ft.

Attack Bonuses: melee +4/+2, ranged +3/+1 (+6 w/two-handed small arms)

Proficiencies (Expertise***)

Saves: Dexterity, Intelligence

Weapons: All simple weapons, two-handed small arms***

Armor: Light armor

Languages: English, French, Swahili

Skills: Stealth, Nature***, Animal Handling***, Insight, Perception, Survival

Tools/Talents: Traps***

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Showing some appreciation for 'generic' character classes...

Because I'm really starting to appreciate them.  Quite a bit, actually!

I can remember when I first came across NPC classes in the 3.5 Dungeon Master's Guide (Warrior, Expert, Adept, Aristocrat, Commoner) back in...hmm, like 2003...?  I thought they were such a good idea that I immediately wanted to start making characters with them.  The Expert class, especially...I mean, why wasn't it already a widely used option?  It just seemed so versatile, and (personal side note, skip to next paragraph if that sounds terrible) it matched up with what I had as a sort of lifelong dream, to earn the right to be considered an Expert in one topic or another.  (It's why I eventually pursued a PhD...I was levelling up myself(!)...and arguably became just that, for one specific thing.  One beautiful, very narrow, practically worthless, conversationally tedious thing.)

I also liked that the DMG specifically highlighted the Expert class as one that may be worth promoting to the big leagues...to pull a quote from the SRD:

The expert could make a PC-worthy class choice, but only for those players willing to create a character focused on something other than a traditional adventuring career.

As someone who was pretty new to the ways of D&D and enjoying the chance to immerse myself in whatever class ideas I could get my hands on, this sounded awesome!  And then...I thought it was pretty cool when I happened to open the Sage miniature in a Dungeons & Dragons Miniatures Game booster and realized that they had actually made him an Expert, according to the full RPG stats that were found on each mini's card (on the opposite side from the skirmish game stats).  (I think, anyway...)

The Sage, from an eBay listing; I can't wait to see the other side of the card and be proven right.  Someday.  Maybe.

When I eventually realized (via the SRD) that the 3.5 book Unearthed Arcana also included so-called 'generic classes' (Warrior, Expert, Spellcaster) that served as amped-up versions of the NPC options...and I found out that the True20 system, right from its start in the original Blue Rose book, sorted every character into a similar tripartite taxonomy...I started to really take an interest in this approach!

I think that part of the reason I've become so drawn to these classes is that they're a fairly clean combination of aspects I like in some of my favorite RPGs.  I love D&D-style class-and-level gaming because of its history, its implementation of genre archetypes, and its interesting 'stories' that are told without any dice being rolled, just by internalizing the abilities of a specific class.  And I love West End Games' Ghostbusters (maybe my fave RPG ever) and many of the games it has inspired, as their straightforward attribute + skill mechanics are easily grokkable and contribute to a freewheeling tone where it seems like, somehow, 'normal' people fit in and anything goes when it comes to the adventure.

Dr. Peter Venkman's Ghostbusters stats; from the very helpful collection at Ghostbusters International

I like where generic classes sit in between these two approaches and have had them in mind a lot lately while considering the setting that shares a name with this blog, especially since I typically think about the Monstrous Matters campaign as some variant of 'Ghostbusters + D&D.'  And to a lesser extent, I like applying the generic classes to thoughts on UNLTD/POA/whatever I end up calling this 3.75-inch action figure skirmish game thingy I'm kind of working on...

So, let's see...

I have one spot in my home where I actually display action figures (other than the Lego minifigs that topped our wedding cake).  The lineup changes based on whim and convenience.  Here's a pic I took a few months back; I figure that eventually, I'm going to want to have all of these characters statted out for playing war, so I guess I'll start with that parapsychologist down in the lower right (next to Tars Tarkas) since I already have some 'official' numbers to base him on.  Seems like a good testing ground for an Expert class (and I certainly have no issue treating the Venkman of the first film as a Level 1 character!)...

(He came from the awesome Plasma Pack set featuring the entire 'busting quartet in 3.75" form, btw...a pretty awesome 48th birthday gift from the parents this summer...!)

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Peter Venkman, Ph.D.

Expert, Level 1

Human, 34 years old

Affiliation: Ghostbusters (the 'real' ones)

STR       DEX        CON      INT       WIS      CHA

10 (--)  13 (+1)    10 (--)   11 (--)   19 (+3)  19 (+3)

HP 4   Move 30 ft.

Attack Bonuses: +0 melee (expertise with unarmed attacks), +1 ranged

Proficiencies (Expertise***)

Saves: Dexterity, Intelligence

Weapons: All simple weapons

Armor: Light armor

Languages: English

Skills: Investigation, Insight, Perception***, Deception***, Persuasion***

Tools/Talents: Parapsychology

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Wishing you happiness on the American holiday that happens today...

Thanksgiving is kind of a tricky one, eh?  I mean...I don't think there's anyone out there saying it's a bad idea to take some time and reflect on the things you're thankful for in life.  And obviously, celebrations of the harvest have a pretty solid standing in the history of humanity.  But...over time (and potentially right from the start of the modern tradition, since it was apparently a bit of a propaganda move on President Lincoln's part), we've built a mythology around the holiday that is undoubtedly problematic when placed in in the full context of the United States' first couple centuries (and especially its treatment of the land's native inhabitants).

Now, I actually think that this mythology can be helpful, as we can build on aspects of it that we hold dear with a modern perspective and lessons learned over many more decades of the "American Experiment."  And I'm definitely not looking to hinder the holiday vibes of anyone who wants to take the opportunity on this one Thursday every year to appreciate their blessings.  Unfortunately, it seems that another tradition has developed among many Americans, in which any attempt to place the story of the holiday within an honest historical framework is treated as a challenge to America's core values (about which we also seem to agree less and less by the day).

And yeah, it's weird that the holiday's most enduring symbol is the turkey, whose role in the festivities is to become the main course.

Lincoln was also the first president to pardon a turkey, a tradition that was later ramped up by Reagan and enshrined as an official presidential act by Bush the elder.  This image (swiped from Roadside America) shows a monument to Jack, the bird spared by Lincoln in 1863.  I could really get behind a holiday that was all about pardoning turkeys...

Despite the fact that I'll probably never be able to unlearn the things that force me to see Thanksgiving as a nuanced American holiday (not that I'd want to unlearn pretty much anything) rather than a controversy-free celebration of how God has Blessed America, I'll probably always have a soft spot for a lot of the day's traditional imagery.  This can almost certainly be traced, at least in part, to a specific memory from 1982 when...fresh off of Halloween and apparently of the belief that every holiday should be a reason to cosplay at school...I decided to attend kindergarten dressed as a "Thanksgiving Pilgrim."

Sadly, no, I don't still have this outfit.

(And speaking of being thankful, I should be forever grateful for having a family that indulged my ridiculous wishes enough to help me put together things like this costume...)

In a way, I guess it is sort of a shame that I can no longer have a blind appreciation for what I represented in that outfit.  But...I also guess that's an inevitable result of being open to changing one's opinion as new information and perspectives are encountered.  I'm good with that.

Now, to shake off the seriousness and potentially invalidate anything of value that I managed to articulate, here's a silly RPG class:

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The Pilgrim

Image source

Hit Die: d12

Alignment: A Pilgrim must be of lawful alignment.

Proficiencies
Weapons: Simple weapons, firearms

Armor: Light armor
Saving Throws: Constitution, Wisdom
Skills: Religion (INT), Survival (WIS)

Borne on the Mayflower
At 1st level, you gain advantage on all checks related to seafaring.

"By God's visitation, reigned a wonderful plague..."

Also at 1st level, you gain advantage on all rolls to resist disease.

Signature Smoothbore

Beginning at 2nd level, you get a +3 expertise bonus and +1 to damage rolls when firing a musket or blunderbuss.

Image source

Blessed
Starting at 3rd level, whenever you roll a 1 on a d20, you may choose to reroll that die.  You must use the result of the reroll.

Ability Score Increase
When you reach 4th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1.

Damn the Heretics and Horrors
At 5th level, you gain an enhanced ability to thwart the will of those who oppose your God.  This works as a Cleric's turn undead ability that affects not only undead creatures, but also creatures of any Witch or Warlock class.  You may use a cross or Bible as a holy symbol.  (As an action, you present your holy symbol and speak a prayer censuring your enemies. Each undead, Witch, and Warlock that can see or hear you within 30 feet of you must make a Wisdom saving throw. If the creature fails its saving throw, it is turned for 1 minute or until it takes any damage.)

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Geeky SKAturday: Ghostbusters!

Relative to the amount of time I spend actually sharing things on here, I spend way too much time considering whether or not I should blog about random stuff I come across on the web.  In doing this off and on for almost 10(!) years, I've managed to bounce around enough topics to have a blog that's kind of about everything, and kind of about nothing, and kind of about just whatever's in my head at the moment.

But occasionally, I see something that I know I should share...AND that 100%...no, 110%...fits whatever it is I blog about.  It is this:

I've featured the work of JER from Ska Tune Network before on here (for Sonic and Pokémon tunes, if you're keeping score).  And this certainly isn't the first time this classic theme has been given a ska makeover (it obviously works well with a third wave ska punk treatment!), but it's definitely worth noting when the immensely talented ska evangelist JER takes a crack at it...