Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Age-specific Anthropomorphic Action Animals

I became a "serious" comic book fan right around the time that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was about to make the move from hot indie series to pop cultural phenomenon.  I can remember buying my first Turtles book while on vacation...a back issue of Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #2...just because I so wanted to check out this weird thing that was getting so much hype in the mail-order comic ads.  Soon after that, I was blown away to see the first issue of the Archie Comics series in a Waldenbooks.  Even my 11-year-old self could recognize that this wasn't so indie anymore.

Over the next few years, I also enjoyed checking out any of the TMNT knockoffs that I could get my hands on.  I think the first one I acquired is also probably the best known:

...and this was just the start of the phenomenon.  Some of the other direct ripoffs/parodies included Naive Inter-dimensional Commando Koalas, Pre-Teen Dirty-Gene Kung-Fu Kangaroos, and one that my buddy Josh was kind enough to finally put into my grubby paws when he found it at a con:

Heck, even Marvel eventually threw their hat in the ring, making an X-Men themed parody of the book that was intended, in part, as an X-Men parody!

At some point, I'd love to see a complete list of these put together.  There are some pretty good compilations out there, such as this blog post in Russian, but I don't know of anything that claims (or tries) to be comprehensive.  In a world with infinite time, I guess I'd do it.

Until then, I made this 4d20 Random Anthropomorphic Hero Team Name Generator for anyone interested in getting in on the Turtle knockoff action.  Just roll a d20 four times and consult the lists below in never know when you might need such a team in a pinch...

(And what the heck...let's see what I'll be doodling over the next few about the Wizened Modified Mercenary Groundhogs?)


1.    Aged
2.    Baby-faced
3.    Childish
4.    Elderly
5.    Grizzled
6.    Grownup
7.    Immature
8.    Juvenile
9.    Middle-aged
10.  Midlife
11.  Minor
12.  Pubescent
13.  Seasoned
14.  Sophomoric
15.  Teenybopper
16.  Toddling
17.  Tween
18.  Wizened
19.  Young Adult
20.  Youthful


1.    Abnormal
2.    Anomalous
3.    Bipedal
4.    Chimeric
5.    Cloned
6.    Engineered
7.    Evolved
8.    Fine-tuned
9.    Gamma Irradiated
10.  Genetically Altered
11.  Humanoid
12.  Lab-grown
13.  Metamorphosed
14.  Modified
15.  Monstrous
16.  Reconstructed
17.  Transfigured
18.  Transformed
19.  Transgenic
20.  Transmogrified


1.    Aikido
2.    Buccaneer
3.    Daredevil
4.    G.I.
5.    Gladiator
6.    Hacker
7.    Mercenary
8.    MMA
9.    Paladin
10.  Paramilitary
11.  Pugilist
12.  Samurai
13.  Secret Agent
14.  Sniper
15.  Swashbuckling
16.  Taekwondo
17.  Viking
18.  Warrior
19.  Wushu
20.  Zombie


1.    Badgers
2.    Beagles
3.    Beetles
4.    Bobcats
5.    Chameleons
6.    Ferrets
7.    Goldfish
8.    Groundhogs
9.    Guinea Pigs
10.  Hyenas
11.  Hyraxes
12.  Kiwi
13.  Marmots
14.  Mini Horses
15.  Mosquitos
16.  Owls
17.  Parakeets
18.  Seals
19.  Shellfish
20.  Tapirs


  1. This is a fun list. Well done, sir.

  2. Elderly Monstrous Paladin Tapirs....... lets get to writing...

    1. Well, now, that pretty much writes itself, doesn't it?