Let's celebrate 60 years of Fantastic Voyages! (With a microgame...)

While it seemed to fly way, way under the radar, yesterday actually marked the 60th anniversary of the release of a science fiction movie that has influenced SF storytelling greatly in the decades since then...

The 1966 classic Fantastic Voyage has become one of my favorite films over the course of the last decade or so.  I know I've mentioned it a few times on here over the years, and readers who have soldiered through my blogging since I started more than 10 years ago may even recall that the movie inspired an early post with daydreams of an RPG based on its iconic plot.

My way of celebrating the anniversary of this incredible piece of SF history is to finally follow through -- a tiny little bit, anyway (pun sort of intended) -- on those daydreams of a game focused on microscopic adventures.  And so, I present the earliest of early drafts (v0.1, in fact) of my own little microgame...

MicroSquad is a tiny RPG about playing tiny heroes.  There's honestly so much I have had swirling around in my mind that I wanted to put in such a game that what I finished up by yesterday's anniversary is actually fairly incomplete.  BUT...I'm quite sincerely interested in hearing what others think about both the concept and the game itself (a Microlite-ish take on 5e that hopefully captures a feeling that accompanies the plot nicely enough).

So...while keeping in mind (please) that it's lacking a LOT that would turn it into a "complete" game, I'd love it if you wanted to see what I currently have brewing!  Here are the Google Drive links:

MicroSquad v0.1

MicroSquad v0.1 booklet printable

At any rate...a belated Fantastic Voyage Day to all!  Talk to you soon!

Just call me Jonny-on-the-spot! (I guess) ... A monstrously overdue MotU movie review

While I'm currently in the midst of a long blogging drought that -- according to my anxiety-guided reasoning -- must only be broken by a truly mind-blowing post, some of my thoughts here have been hanging around for weeks now waiting to be revealed, and I...well, I just keep getting distracted, darn it.  But this week, something happened to make it almost timely -- as in, the new Masters of the Universe movie already started streaming on Amazon -- so I need to throw in my two Eternian copper pieces and maybe encourage someone out there to give it a chance.

It's probably worth mentioning here at the get-go that Masters of the Universe (hereafter MotU) did not take long to be considered by many to be a box office flop, bust, bomb, disappointment, or whatever your favorite pejorative may be for this phenomenon.  It may have cost up to $200 million to make and, at the time I first constructed this comparison sentence, really hadn't made much more than half of that back in ticket sales. I recognize that the accounting of a franchise reboot like this (with loads of merchandising potential) is way more complicated than budget vs. ticket sales, so I don't think that necessarily means we won't get a sequel.  This is especially true thanks to the fact that viewers have really enjoyed the film (currently at an 86% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes), with a lot of folks really really enjoying it.

I am one of those folks.  It took me over a week to catch it in the theater...and then, a couple days later, I caught it again.  And I found myself really wanting to think about it, and talk about it, and listen to the soundtrack, and imagine its impact on my gaming.  I think it's a very good movie...maybe even a great one...and either way one whose long-term aura in my mind will be based upon how well it holds up to even more repeat viewing.  (And now that it's streaming...so far, so good.)  It is noteworthy in itself that I hardly ever see films in a theater at all, so the fact that I took the time to see this twice (including dragging Laura along to viewing #2) has to say something about my gut reaction.

Because I never know how to begin presenting the substance of a review without railroading myself into writing way more words than I intended (just to hash out all of the disparate points I feel the need to introduce), let me try to keep it simple by just listing some of the things that director Travis Knight and the team around him got right with MotU.  (Hopefully I'll also slip in some of the related "lows" so I'm not just gushing out what reads like a one-sided take on the film...)

1.  The casting and acting are top-notch for a silly adventure movie like this.  Nicholas Galitzine pulls off a very likable Prince Adam/He-Man, and Camila Mendes + Idris Elba are both great as Teela + Duncan/Man-At-Arms.  The quality extends to the less vital cast members as well.  I can't think of any performances that even sunk as low as "meh."  So, cast as a whole: Solid and enjoyable.  And beautiful.  Everyone is so beautiful!

Although...if I were to pick a weak spot in the acting, it would probably be Alison Brie's take on Evil-Lyn.  Not because it was a poor performance (not even "meh," as noted above), but simply because Evil-Lyn was underwhelming as a character to me in this film.  The thing is: I'm not sure what Brie could have even done to make me feel otherwise.  All movie, I just kind of expected more, but never quite got it.  (And THAT, my friends, is poorly thought-out nitpicking.)

But then...there's Jared Leto's Skeletor.  At this point, I'm too exhausted by how terrible apparently everyone in the world ends up being to look too far into the allegations that would make me question Leto's character as a human, so I'm not even going to approach that.  (I am sorry if that's a hard "no" for you as far as watching any of his films; I will say that the few things I have read do paint him as problematic at best.)

For the film though...when it comes to our unambiguously evil antagonist...Leto simply nails it.  I've seen people point to Frank Langella's performance as the skull-faced big baddie in the 1987 MotU movie as one of that film's highlights (and rightly so), and I believe Leto takes it to another level entirely.  This isn't just "take a crazy role and make it impactful," it's "take a crazy role and give the definitive performance of an absolutely archetypal character."  Like if Hollywood buzz supported it, I could see Leto being discussed for a best supporting actor Oscar.  (Yes, really!  I haven't heard anything about conversations like that, so I probably just sound crazy in writing it, but I think his performance is truly memorable enough that it wouldn't surprise me...like that time Jack Sparrow won an Oscar, or those times the Joker did.)

Skeletor looks great, too.  The red light of his eyes shifting within those otherwise empty sockets is pretty striking, and I found myself hypnotized by how the subtle movements of a bone face telegraphed emotions.  Overall, I'm sure there will be plenty said about Leto's presence in the blockbuster and how that may have impacted its bottom line (he has a certain history with big-budget action films), but as far as the art goes, Skeletor is a BIG win.

2.  The movie is paced surprisingly well.  One of the easiest digs to take in a review of MotU is that it goes on too long (it's 140 minutes!).  However, the time just flew by for me (both viewings).  I wouldn't say that the movie had to run that long to get in all of its vital thematic elements, but its flow is really, really immersive.  And of course, that can be attributed at least in part to the fact that...

3.  The effects fall somewhere in between Fine and Great.  I'm pretty much one of those old fogeys who pines for the days of practical effects and puppets for monsters.  Perhaps obviously, there are a LOT of digital effects in play throughout most of MotU; if they were bad, it would be tough to slog through.  Luckily, they're really good for the most part.  Similar to my Evil-Lyn opinion, I will note that I would have liked Cringer to be a bit more convincing, but he's still pretty darn good, and far from a dealbreaker...I mean, we're still getting to see a decent "live-action" rendering of freaking Cringer on the big screen (that's a big deal for me), so I won't complain too much!

I also get this feeling when watching movies featuring heavily CGI'ed environments where I start to have a lingering sense of unreality...like the artificial backgrounds stack up and start to feel sort of oppressive -- almost claustrophobic -- after a while.  (I just want to see a big open outside shot to make me feel like I can breathe again!)  MotU walks this line but never hits a point where it's too much, and honestly, some of the digital sets are so cool that they're worth some conscious suspension of disbelief anyway.  It is undoubtedly a good-looking film.

4.  The screenplay hits just about the right level of being both meta and Easter eggy.  These are definitely YMMV factors in evaluating a film like this one, especially since viewers are going to differ so widely both in the need to have these in the story AND in familiarity with the franchise and its history.  I would consider myself well "above" the average moviegoer, but well below the average He-Man superfan, when it comes to the details of MotU lore.  While watching, I caught plenty of references that literally brought a smile to my face, but it never felt like the film was degenerating into "Easter egg porn."  (And that, by the way, is a phrase that I have used in my head for a while but don't really think is ever used by anyone else.  Googling it only resulted in the sort of hits you'd probably imagine for a phrase like that.  Plus one "Florida woman" article.  Anyway...I hope it makes sense...)

And the meta nature of the movie is definitely worth talking about, as that's potentially what will make it or break it in the minds of a lot of viewers.  An obvious model to look toward...and one that I'm sure the studio had in mind...is 2023's Barbie.  Both iconic properties, pretty gender-specific, more than a little bit silly...and Barbie slayed at the box office, so I know its success was somewhere in the minds of Mattel's bigwigs as they tracked MotU's performance.  The thing is...that's kind of an unfair comparison to make at this point, as Barbie was an absolute triumph of a movie on many levels (and one that any IP-focused film would have a tough time living up to)...and its extreme lean into meta storytelling already meant that MotU was going to have to be a bit more subtle in its approach.

And where Knight and team landed...well, I think they really did hit within a sweet spot that would have been very easily misjudged.  I'm sure many He-Fans would have preferred a wholesale embrace of the ridiculousness of, say, the classic MotU character naming conventions, rather than the narrative end-around they went with (which I think I rather like, honestly).  But it's hard to imagine any filmmaker doing a better job with issues like balancing PG-13 fantasy violence with the expectations that follow a property originally aimed at six-year-olds.  And the downright ridiculousness of Skeletor, anchored by Leto's performance, is handled borderline brilliantly.  As in...I still think the movie has more to say to me...and going into it, I would have questioned whether I should expect it to actually say anything at all.

5.  The soundtrack is killer.  Yeah, I've already gone on too long here (me and my self-railroading), but it has to be said before I close things out:  The music in this one is just awesome.  And to be honest, I think I've only seen and heard praise for this aspect of the film.  It veers into a sort of symphonic power metal groove at times, and the inclusion of Queen (plus additional guitar work by Brian May) is both appropriate in itself and evocative of 1980's peerless Flash Gordon flick...a comparison that MotU can and should proudly wear on its sleeve.  The covers that are included also work well (and include one specific meta selection that I really enjoyed).

It's just...good stuff.

Sir Brian May...a guitar legend and PhD astrophysicist who has said he would rather be remembered for his work helping animals.  Ya gotta love him!  (Image from MusicRadar)

If you've been on the fence about watching Masters of the Universe, I hope my obvious love for the film will encourage you to give it a shot.  (I want a sequel!)  I know it isn't perfect.  And even what I consider its borderline greatness...well, I recognize that it isn't for everyone and won't fault anyone who senses within the first half hour that it simply isn't their cup of tea.  I think that even some folks who fall into this camp, though, will be able to admit that it is so much better than it has any right to be based on its roots and its timing.  For most viewers, if it generates half the number and intensity of smiles that it has for me, I expect it to find a happy home in streaming.  And if you missed it on the big screen and ever get a chance to right that wrong, I would certainly recommend you take it!

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Thanks so much for reading, all.  I hope to be back, probably continuing with this thread of my MotU love, very soon...!

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 9 - The Big Bad™

Rolling on with Barking Alien's RPG CAMPAIGN TOUR CHALLENGE...

Day 9 - Who's in charge here?
Who are the major movers and shakers in the campaign?

As this is a WIP campaign setting, we have another question here for which I have a general plan but not necessarily the specifics.  You might call it the skeleton of a plan.  Just the bare bones of it.  Some bits of lore bouncing around in my skull.

Image from Wiki Grayskull

So...there's an oppressive force in the setting...vaguely governmental and driven by profit and power.  I know them right now as The Corporation.

And then, based on the Fifth Moon of Elysia, there's a rebellion in effect.  I'm not completely sure what they'll be called, but I like the idea of tying anarchism into it, since that word gets such a bad rap.

It seems important to give The Corporation a face, since the Big Bad™ was one of the defining features of '80s adventure animation (and most cartoons meant to sell toys, maybe...?).  I'd like to follow the trend begun with Skeletor up there and arguably continued with his She-Ra counterpart.  (Even though, yeah, I realize Hordak's face isn't necessarily bone, even if I don't really know what it is.  He does have a very skeletal fashion sense, however...)

Image from Wiki Grayskull

I know if I widen the space fantasy scope a bit (beyond MotU) I'll find plenty of non-bone-associated villainy, but this seems like a good place to start.  (And even non-skeletal examples like the Thundercats' archenemy Mumm-Ra can have an undead theme going on...)  And I like the simplicity of the names: Skeletor.  Hordak.  In Blackstar, there was the Overlord.

Therefore, the being who is keeping an evil, undead, iron grip on the Elysia system shall be...

Necronimus

Image to come...at some point...I've gotta think about this one!  Whatever his or her final form, I do think one of the images from this Game-icons.net set might be a reasonable symbol for them...

Hmm...skeletal bird head guy...?

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 8 - Humans and other people

Well, I'm not really catching up at all, but it does look like this post-a-day thing is doable for now!  (Maybe that's why daily blogging challenges like this RPG Campaign Tour one make a lot of sense...?😅)  On to the inhabitants of Elysia's star system...

Day 8 - Tell us about the local peoples and their cultures.
Describe the people and their Species, Nationalities, and other identifying features.

(Okay, so this post could be essentially never-ending if I really went into detail!  The thing is...I don't even have many of those details.  But...I can tell you this...)

Life on Elysia and the astronomical bodies near it is extremely diverse.  Like...Earth diverse and then some.  After all, while there are some number of species who are native to these planets and moons (or, at least, were transported here millennia before most of the sapient beings arrived), the collection of species who currently have the biggest footprint in the system have been transplanted here from many different planets, realms, and universes.  Of note:

Humans - Yep, there are definitely plenty of regular ol' humans running around this place.

Orcs and other traditional fantasy species - Every species that is widely accepted in 'standard' fantasy TTRPGs can be found somewhere in the system, although they often go by different names or have subtle variations compared to their literary or gaming counterparts.  Sometimes, they are even surprisingly similar to species that appear in other sword and planet fiction.  For example, the most well-known orcs in the realm tend to be blue, like Kraite Felrune and his compatriots here...

Image by Land_of_Books_YouTube

As portals and spaceways have connected Elysia to other, similar planets and systems, it has been impossible to ignore that they are likely related to people from potentially distant points in spacetime...

From walmart.com (definitely not an affiliate link fwiw...)

And then there's a bunch of crazy shit too.  Humanoid beast people.  Some talking animals.  Chalcothon, of course, is ruled by metallic dragons who have also ventured into the cosmos.  (Allying with these ancient and powerful beings, btw, has been a huge theme in the goals of both The Corporation and its opposition.)

Image from one of the many D&D wikis out there

And while it could be argued that he falls into the "humanoid beast people" mentioned above, I do want to highlight one of the species that I know has made their way to the system:

Image from Wiki Grayskull

Why highlight these Bee People?  Well...partly because they are just ridiculous enough to exemplify the sort of anything-goes space fantasy I'm trying to evoke here.  And partly because one of them is very likely to show up here before the challenge ends...

Thank you, as always, for checking out my rambling!  Hope to be back soon...!

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 7 - Should we talk about the weather?

I don't want to jinx anything, but it looks like I'm about to have a second post done in as many calendar days! (Maybe I can catch up this weekend...?🤔) Well...next on the track of Barking Alien's RPG CAMPAIGN TOUR CHALLENGE (2026 edition)...

Day 7 - What's the weather like today?

Is there a particular climate or weather that's prominent in the region of the campaign? Does it vary? What is it like and how bad does it get?

This one's pretty easy if we're talking about the planet Elysia itself...

Image by s3jlev, from Pixabay

It's cold today.  And windy.  And grey.  In fact, it's pretty much always like the middle of one of these depressing New Jersey winters, when the Sun never quite reaches a high point in the sky, and there are three straight months of identically dismal days.  (Seriously, I know that there are places way more wintery than our winter, but my Georgia-born self may never get used to just how bleak midwinter can get around here.)

In the image above, we can see the house of The Corporation's manager of a local mine, on a hill overlooking the substandard homes of the miners and their families.  (And that picture was actually taken on a really pretty day...)

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The moons show a lot more variety, though!  AB-5.5 aka the Fifth Moon of Elysia, as noted, is pretty darn Earthlike...

Image by AdisResic

...so whatever you can find on our planet (and then some) can probably be found somewhere on AB-5.5.  And it does change with the season...so today, for example, it's cold...and windy....and grey...like the middle of one of these depressing New Jersey winters, when the Sun never quite reaches a high point in the sky, and there are three straight months of...

Hrm.  Okay, I'll pull it together...

That's all for today, except for this stream-of-consciousness nonsense...!

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(Hi, hi, hi.)

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Oh!  And today is...

Image from Figure Realm

...so please enjoy your day and take care out there!

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 6 - Where shall we start? (I mean really start this time...)

Problem #1: Attempting a daily blogging challenge when you're not a very consistent blogger is bound to put you way behind.

Solution #1: Just keep track of the ones you miss and post all of them at once to catch up!

Problem #2: The longer you wait to catch up, the more effort required in the catch-up post, and the less likely you are to actually finish it.

Solution #2: Ignore Solution #1!

So, here's my next entry for Adam Dickstein/Barking Alien's excellent RPG Campaign Tour Challenge...which I am thoroughly enjoying despite my involvement gaps...!

Day 6 - Where shall we start?
Where did the campaign begin and/or where should a traveler to the region start their journey through it?

We meet in a tavern!  Seriously...I knew I needed to go in the classic fantasy direction as soon as I saw that Tim's Day 6 entry over at The Other Side is a take on this RPG staple...and on the same day that Dyson (over at his Dodecahedron) shared a map of the Flying Swine.  I will admit that I really like this naming convention...that classic [Adjective][Creature] scheme...for inns and taverns.  Masters of the Universe media have even gotten in on the fun (the naming and the adventure kickoff) at least once, with Adam and Cringer meeting Bow at the Laughing Swan Inn in She-Ra's very first episode...

A view of the Laughing Swan, from Wiki Grayskull

So...where did this naming scheme come from, exactly?

(No, really...I'm asking.  If you're reading this and know the answer, I'd love to be let in on it!  Can it all be traced back to the Prancing Pony in The Lord of the Rings?)

Whatever the overall origin, I'm going to reach back to my early DMing days, to a name I relied on back then for this role...the Dire Goose Tavern.  It's a watering hole on Elysia's fifth moon that is well-known as a key gathering place for the many anti-Corporation insurgents and anarchists that gather on that world.  Of course, this also means that it attracts plenty of Corporate spies looking to infiltrate the rebellion and secure victory for the villains.  You can find food, drinks, rooms for rent, and some pretty big screens to watch the Staveball matches going on that day.  Just be sure you pay attention to that hooded figure over in the shadows of the corner table...

Oh!  It's also pretty famous for its faux-dragon 'wings', which regularly earn The Most Powerful Compliment in the Universe™ for consumables free of animal products: You can't even tell it's vegan...

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 5 - Origins of the Fifth Moon of Elysia

Well...as we all know, "the best intentions something something something," so despite hoping to get back to the blog after yesterday's post to continue the tour and maybe even get caught up...here I am well over 24 hours later seeing that there's almost no way that happens.  Because this next question...oh boy, does it make me want to ramble.

So there's your warning.  Now let's see where this takes me...

Day 5 - Can you tell us about the campaign's history?
(In the real world and within the universe.)

To start off: Why am I so adamant about gaming with action figures?!?  (And what is it about He-Man?)

I have imagined making action figure skirmish gaming a major part of my hobby life for years now.  It might have emerged soon after I first discovered minis gaming, when I started to work on a universe and system to support battles among garden gnomes in actual gardens.  Since then, the idea to set up a game in whatever outside environment I happen to find myself in has crept into my thoughts over, and over, and over.  And the more I've thought about it, the more I've idealized the dream scenario in my mind...like the more I've thought about running outdoor miniature scenarios with toys being something that I could do to legitimately add a bit of positivity to the world.  (Even though I know that sounds a little...eh, pretentious...?)

Several years ago, I read an online piece about Masters of the Universe-styled figures' making a bit of a comeback.  I wish I could find that article again now...but the main things I remember are the emphasis on the unique figure anatomy (I think the author may have referred to them as "chunky") and the specific reference to their being perfect to play with at the beach.  This hit home because I remember doing exactly that!  Back in the early '80s, my family spent a day (I guess multiple days over the course of my childhood) at this "beach" in south Georgia called Crystal Lake.  (And this was after Friday the 13th had become a very well-known cultural reference point, so I don't know what they were thinking.  Maybe it existed before the first movie...?  Not sure, as I think it was actually an artificial body of water...)

Anyway...the brother of one of my sister's friends was also going to be there for one of these trips, and either through fortune or the kind foresight of our parents, he and I both ended up with chunky action figures to play with in the sand and water.  I had the one that was my first MotU figure (maybe my only one at the time?), and potentially the one that many people would find most appropriate to bring to such an outing...Mer-Man:

Photo from the Motu Vintage Variants page

Christopher, meanwhile, brought a figure that I wasn't yet familiar with...

I believe The Warrior Beasts were made by Remco alongside their Warlord (and other DC Comics fantasy property) action figure line, perhaps to serve as villains.  (I definitely find that little "PLAY WITH" box mentioning Arak and the Warlord alongside Masters of the Universe pretty interesting...!)  Gecko here was also a great choice for the day of play in the sand and Sun.

Now, add in a few other bits of info:

1.  The absurdly exaggerated bodies of these figures reinforce that they are meant for play, not accurate representation of reality;

2.  Masters of the Universe as an IP is arguably the strongest connection I have to what might be called 'classic fantasy' from my entire childhood.  (The fact that it's really Star Wars-influenced science fantasy only makes it cooler to me now, just as it did back then.  I mean...it's also basically a superhero setting, so it has elements of pretty much every type of adventure story I enjoyed as a kid!); and...

3.  The snowstorm across the American Northeast a couple weeks ago has left everything around me covered in snow for a while now, and as I'm driving, I can't help but think about how much fun it'd be to set up adventure scenarios in the yards, fields, and hills stretched out around me.

Put all of these things together, and I truly have this specific, archetypal experience playing out in my mind where strangers are brought together by the unbridled fun of rolling big dice outside to play out stories with action figures.  And while I'll probably always gravitate toward roughly 1:18 scale toys due to the fact that in my childhood, that was simply the default size for an action figure, it's definitely possible that this unbridled fun would be amplified even more if they happen to be ridiculously muscular 5.5" figures!

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Okay...and one more thing about Masters of the Universe that has struck me so powerfully lately that I felt it deserved an entirely new section of this post:  I am kind of blown away by how easy it is to find similarities between things happening in old episodes of He-Man and She-Ra and things happening right now in my own country.  I know that sounds...hmm...alarmist, maybe...?  But...I really didn't start my recent stretch of watching the old series with this connection in mind...yet it was impossible to ignore.  The Great Rebellion led by Princess Adora (that's She-Ra, in case you don't know) is fighting against a tyrannical government that ignores all manner of compassion and dignity to exploit its residents...even occupying villages with faceless troops who demand complete obedience.  Hell...I watched an episode of He-Man last night that had this kid talking about how great Skeletor is (while his father or grandfather was there telling him Skeletor couldn't be trusted), and I swear you could just replace "Skeletor" with a certain American celebrity/politician's name every time the boy spoke, and it would sound exactly like the sort of things being said in the United States right now.

Image from Wiki Grayskull

And y'know...maybe that's the craziest part of it all, the part that REALLY makes it resonate.  At some point, as I was aging out of the target audience range for Masters of the Universe, I started to recognize how ridiculous the caricatured portrayals of its villains really were.  I guess that could be said for a lot of cartoon "big bads" that were meant to be invariably selfish and occasionally bungling, but somehow powerful enough to be the biggest threats to their respective settings.  And it seems like that's exactly what I'm watching in the U.S. right now.  It's pretty easy to say, "Yeah, but how could someone like Skeletor gain so much power and inspire such loyalty in his lackeys?"  It's absurd...and kind of funny...but we're now seeing it every day in the real world.  It's un-freaking-believable at times...

Hmm.

So, yeah...He-Man and She-Ra really hit home these days.  Uncomfortably so.  However, the goofy heroism and kindness emphasized by their stories is as good a remedy as I can find to shake off the despair that discomfort brings with it.

So let's play with some chunky figures!!

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Heh.  There, I guess I'm done with the rambling.  I need to cover the other part of the question, though: What is the in universe history of the Fifth Moon of Elysia?  I'll see if I can make this quick...

The planet Elysia; art by Decster1

Elysia is the fifth planet in a system centered on a Class G star in a distant spiral galaxy.  It was what drew humanoid explorers to the system in the first place; while essentially an ice planet, huge deposits of etherealite with a variety of chemical compositions have been found just below the permafrost layer, in many spots around the globe.  This led The Corporation to send legions of miners and their families to live on the planet, exploiting the galaxy's many citizens in need for cheap labor and simultaneously mounting an incessant propaganda campaign that has influenced many of these very workers to develop great Corporate loyalty.  You might think, with a name like Elysia, that the planet would be a pretty fantastic place to live.  That certainly is not the case, but it is why The Corporation settled on that name.

Over time, other planets in the system have also been populated to varying extents, and a highly advanced civilization of metallic dragons was discovered on the system's third planet, Chalcothon.  In addition, the many moons of Elysia have been settled and offer a wide spectrum of experiences and adventures.  The Fifth Moon, aka AB-5.5, is the center of the system's resistance movement, a collection of warriors, mages, and citizens of all walks of life who recognize the uncaring and occasionally downright malicious intent of The Corporation's policies and are determined to bring a more progressive and democratic way of life to Elysia and its nearby planets and moons.

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Thank you for making your way through all of that (or even for skipping down to this sentence...)!  I shall be back tomorrow(?) with a focus on where we'll start our tour of AB-5.5...

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Day 4 - A little bit about AB-5.5's neighborhood

Moving along at an insufficient-but-better-than-average-for-this-blogger pace in this month's Campaign Tour Challenge, I have a bit more regarding the Fifth Moon of Elysia...

(Looking back to Adam's original post for guidance...)

Day 4 - Is there a map?
Give us a visual! Show us a map of your setting! Don't have one? WHY NOT?!?

Well, I didn't have one, but I found enough spare moments at work yesterday (don't tell anyone plz) to put together a rough...well, diagram, I guess.  This certainly isn't a proper map, as it definitely isn't to scale space-wise (after all, scale is actually pretty insane when it comes to astronomy), and the planets don't normally line up like this.  (Although I bet some really crazy magical stuff happens on the rare occasion they do!)

At any rate...here are the first five planets in the star system containing the planet Elysia, whose fifth moon (AB-5.5) is the starting point for this setting:

And while the spaces between them are obviously out of whack, I'd say the relative sizes of the planets themselves are probably pretty close to "accurate."  (And yeah, the sun over there on the left probably matches the inaccurate scaling of space more than the relative sizing of the planets...)  In order of average orbit distance from their sun, here's what interplanetary explorers think they've figured out at this point...

1. Aerona - A gaseous planet where most life is found on magically-floating landmasses or perpetually-flying aircraft.

2. Benthiko - Ocean planet!

3. Chalcothon - Ruled by metallic dragons...IN SPACE!  Well, they're in space when they leave the atmosphere of Chalcothon.  Which they do, often!

4. Duresta - It's yellow here, so...desert planet!  (Maybe...?)

5. Elysia - The heart of it all!  Like the metaphysically connected realms of Eternia and Etheria, Elysia is home to people, places, and artifacts of great magic.

Beyond Elysia, there's a big old asteroid belt that probably has a bunch of other ridiculously cool things going on in it, and then there are a number of planets even farther out.  Definitely some gas giants with inhabited moons.  (I actually really like the idea of keeping aspects of the system intentionally vague for as long as possible so that details can be filled in through play.)  But those five up there...those are the high points of the neighborhood for now.

And Elysia, of course, has nine moons.  Sometimes ten!  More on that later today...!

🤞 (for luck)

RPG Campaign Tour Challenge 2026, Days 1-3 - The Fifth Moon of Elysia, plus Kraite Felrune and what's in the night sky

Buckle up, everyone...it's challenge time!

(Ugh.  "Buckle up."  Really...😅)

So anyway...when Adam Dickstein aka Barking Alien posted the details for his RPG CAMPAIGN TOUR CHALLENGE (not sure if the caps are important or not) last week, it was obvious to me that I wanted to take part.  It's always fun to be part of something as I tap away in my little corner of the blogosphere.  BUT...it wasn't obvious what I should write about.  The only game that I'm currently sort of running is the eponymous Monstrous Matters campaign, in which Father Josh continues to indulge my ridiculously overwrought fantasy dilemmas with even more ridiculously designed fantasy solutions.

I also really love the idea of having a blogging challenge force me to shape ideas bouncing around my noggin (oh man, I'm turning into my Dad...) into a form that's accessible to (1) people other than me, and (2) me, years from now when I mine my Monstrous ramblings for memories.  And so...I'm going back.  You might even say way back.  More than six years ago, I started writing about a gaming project that I had the bald-faced audacity to call "The One I'm Going to Finish."  That endeavor was also known as Project 5.5...a plan to formalize some game rules that make use of stocky, overmuscled, 5.5-inch action figures in the style of Masters of the Universe.

I even found an eBay deal for some old figures, to kickstart my character creation...

I'm actually not 100% certain where these figures have been stashed away since we moved to New Jersey, which is probably some sort of metaphor for my lifelong struggle to pay attention to one of my "million dollar ideas" long enough to get a few bucks' worth of fun out of it.

Alas...aka of course...that didn't end up being the one I finished.  But maybe there's still enough time to correct that...?  And even if I don't completely complete it, in a complete way, maybe some creativity will get splashed onto my other creative projects through their connections to Project 5.5 or simply the mind-flexing that will surely accompany seeing everyone else's posts for the month.

Then it's settled!  For Barking Alien's RPG Campaign Tour Challenge, I present...

The Fifth Moon of Elysia...

The fifth moon is that blue marble to the upper left of Elysia; image by Decster1

...a heroic science fantasy setting filled with rebels, magic, technology, and lots (and lots) of muscles.

So let's get into this thing!  (And get...almost caught up...!)

Check out Adam's full post for more details on the daily assignments...which I'll also write out as I go...

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Day 1 - Campaign Introduction and Overview
What is your campaign called, what system does it use, and what is it all about?

The Fifth Moon of Elysia is all about heroes and villains battling for the magical soul of the multiverse.  Elysia is the fifth planet in its star system, and many of the celestial bodies within rocketshot are prime adventure locales.  The system's heroes are colorful, and its villains are pretty unflinchingly evil...but maybe we can even work in a shade of gray here and there...

For the game (not star) system, I'll take a stab at polishing up the framework I've been throwing about for playing with action figures of a slightly smaller scale...which will broadly follow the rules of my own take on a (Monstrous) fantasy heartbreaker.

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Day 2 - About Your Tour Guide
Introduce us to a character who can serve as our guide through your campaign and its setting.

All right, let's see.  I think maybe I have a direction to take this, so let's go with this guy...

Kraite Felrune

Image by Land_of_Books_YouTube

(He's the one in the middle.)

Kraite spent much of his youth with various Orcish raiding parties, having plenty of good times and causing plenty more destruction across the entire system.  But now he's seen the light, found his purpose, and started fighting the battles of a hero.  He stands in fierce opposition to the cruel authoritarian rule of the Evil Being That Wants to Rule Everything™.

We'll all learn more about Kraite as the month goes on...

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Day 3 - Where the heck are we?
What is the campaign's location, and where is that location relative to other important places?

Let's zoom in on our moon of interest:

Image by AdisResic

If it looks Earthlike...well, yeah.  The fifth moon of the system's fifth planet Elysia (sometimes referred to as Astronomical Body 5.5, any other names TBD soonish) would definitely remind us of our own homeworld.  There are even a bunch of the same organisms living on both our Earth and AB-5.5.  But rest assured...there's some weird shit here too.  (I can't wait to learn about it all...!)

Oh!  And Elysia actually has nine moons, plus a tenth that only appears during certain time windows in the story of the universe.  And all of the moons are really closely tied to the magic in the setting.

Hmm...

Okay, thank you for reading!  See you soon with more from AB-5.5...

Not AB-5.5; also, swiped from the Battle Ram blog

1st-level spell: Commune with S**t

This really isn't the sort of post that I'm super-happy to use to punctuate my blogging flow (or lack thereof), but I am inspired to take part in Barking Alien's RPG Campaign Tour Challenge, starting tomorrow (well...I'll try to catch up at least every other day or so...!), and wanted to get this little bit of trivial content out of my head first.

So...this came up while my group was playing Dungeons & Kittens, which has been amazing so far (thanks Rachel!), and which probably doesn't give much additional meaning to this post other than the fact that I find the contrast between this spell and the theme of that game pretty entertaining.  (Y'know, I should probably just devote a post to D&K sometime soon...it is a blast...)

Anyhow...Father Josh's kitten Bobbin got a magic item that allows him to talk to the mycelia of mushrooms (and maybe other fungi...?), and that somehow led to the idea of conversing with excrement, to which Josh said something like, "How is that not a Mörk Borg scroll already?"  And maybe it is...but here we go anyway...

Photo by Caleb Oquendo

Commune with S**t

1st-level Spell

(Nature spell and/or Sacred scroll)

Casting time: 1 action

Range: Immediate vicinity

Duration: 10 minutes

Save: None

This spell allows the caster to communicate with nearby excrement that has come from any animal, including sapient animals such as humans.  This includes feces expelled in liquid form and substances such as bird droppings that combine solid and liquid elements.  The excrement has knowledge of all actions taken by its host while being processed through the body, although it is usually not capable of explaining anything regarding the broader context of the actions.

In the case of a mixture of excrement from multiple individuals, as with a latrine or septic tank, the magic-user will not be able to separate the targets' voices unless the caster is in physical contact with the stool.

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And yeah, I'm kind of all over the place when it comes to whether or not 'swear words' get censored on here.  Something about having it in the name of the post and the spell felt...I dunno...unnecessarily 'edgy,' I guess.  So fucking sue me, eh?

This trailer for MTG's Lorwyn Eclipsed is freaking fantastic...

The lore for Magic: The Gathering (which I will still stand behind as my favorite game ever) has entered a strange place over the past several years.  For a while there - and as I think I may have noted on here a time or two - the MTG story team at WotC was absolutely killin' it from my perspective.  (In a good way, in case that isn't clear.)  They repeatedly addressed the question, "What would ____ look like as an MTG world?" with creativity and genuine affection for both the mother IP and the genres that were tackled.  Along the way, there were some real high points for fans of innovative, game-able worlds (especially, as MTG lore fans are called, Vorthoses): the fantasy cyberpunk of Kamigawa: Neon Dynasty, for example, and the friendly anthro-animal antics of Bloomburrow were both pretty well-received.

That's not to say that every decision was 100% spot-on.  Folks got tired of what came to be known as hat sets, the expansions that overlaid a theme on the MTG multiverse partly by putting characters in hats that you don't expect in a traditional fantasy setting...for example, cowboy hats for a Western set and detective hats (or...sort of fedoras, I guess...) for a murder mystery set.  (It really is interesting that the sets that have been praised over this time - like those mentioned above - basically followed the same gameplan as the oft-dismissed hat sets, they just didn't put characters in funny hats.  So, while I suspect that the set design and gameplay also had an impact on the sets' reception...well, maybe there really is something to this hat thing...)

Of course, that approach is arguably negligible when you consider the biggest change to the MTG creative approach over the last several years: the release of Universes Beyond sets (which feature IPs outside of MTG's regular lore) and their eventual incorporation into the regular cadence of yearly set releases.  Right now, in Magic's Standard format - which is treated as the "default" format for competitive MTG enough to be called "Standard" - folks are playing with cards representing the lore of Final Fantasy, Avatar (the Airbender type), and (perhaps most surprisingly) freaking Spider-Man.

I will admit that I am so far undecided on how I feel about this "invasion" of other IPs into the MTG battles played out on tabletops around the world.  (I don't play enough currently, especially out in public with strangers, to really have an opinion yet.)  BUT...I can definitely understand why this grinds the gears of many MTG lore devotees.  It has not gone unnoticed that when the Ninja Turtles set (yep) drops in about a month and a half, there will be more currently available Magic expansions set in New York City than in most of the (maybe any...?) original MTG worlds.  And I'm kind of okay with that (I like NYC!), but it is...weird.

Anyway...all of that is to say that when this promotion for the new set Lorwyn Eclipsed was released a couple of weeks ago, it was such a breath of fresh air that I don't think some MTG lore fanatics knew what to do with themselves.  The bright plane of Lorwyn and its dark counterpart Shadowmoor are built upon the folklore of the British Isles, and the new set (which just had prerelease tourneys this past weekend) really examines the interaction between the contrasts of the related planes.  And that includes this amazing music video, featuring some beautiful puppet renditions of the settings' goblins (AKA boggarts), produced by The Jim Henson Company.

I'll quit rambling now so you can just enjoy this video...

Musical Monday: Shots Fired (Negro Terror)

So, I have a much happier song that I've been meaning to post, and hopefully I'll get to that one within the next day or so (maybe even today?), but man is the state of my country distracting right now.  So for now, I guess I'll just post this song that may or may not be relevant to the American status quo.